X&Y
by myloxylotos
Summary: AU Will meets Emma in one of his most confusing times; his teenage years.
1. X1

**A/N: Hey guys! This story is a little bit different than most ones I post so here's how this works. This story is 12 chapters long and will take 14 weeks to finish. Two weeks after X&Y is over, my good friend and fanfic user _loversinlima _will upload a story called 'Parachutes', which is the sequel to X&Y and is set 10 after the end of X&Y. You don't have to read Parachutes, just note X&Y does not have a happy ending. You don't have to read one for the other, but Parachutes will make more sense if you do. Keep in mind that this is AU (as is the sequel).**

**Enjoy!**

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_"The relationship between life and death is a strange one; life doesn't wait for you to finish grieving death. You still have to get up the next day and prepare your tea or coffee and a bagel and egg or cereal. However mean that sounds, imagine if life did wait for everyone. That would be insane. And what happens to those people who can't finish the grieving process and are stuck on one step, if life waited for them? Would they see their friends grow up and settle down and have a family and feel like they're watching from something other than their body? The only thing we can do about death is accept that it happened and move on. But that's really all we can do with anything." -_ Anonymous

"Will don't you dare have another cookie!" His aunt, Donna, yelled at him from over his newborn sister's crib. His parents were on their first date night since Sophie was born and asked Donna to look over the kids. Of course, Will didn't think he needed a babysitter. He was thirteen. But his sister was a fraction of the age. Obviously his parents didn't think he was mature enough.

Will believed himself to be an easy going guy, so he didn't let it bother him. He walked up the stairs and to his sisters crib and peered down at her. She looked precious and innocent. She didn't know what her life would turn into nor did she care. She took her eyes from the model above her and redirected them to her older brother. She giggled and tried to roll over but failed.

"Shh, shh Sophie. You stay right where you are." Will put his hand on her stomach and grinned.

The next week following, Will felt okay. If he was honest, he didn't keep up with emotions but he wished he did. He came home from school the Monday after his parents date night and he will never forget anything that happened in the next five minutes.

Donna's anxiety shifted to Will when his frozen fingers turned the even colder knob of the thick wood door and into the warm accepting air of his childhood home. She snapped back to him, like anyone else would come through the door. Will took off his beanie, letting his curls fly free, and hung his coat on the rack along with his snow shoes underneath. She tried to cover up the apprehension on her face, but she didn't know Will already picked up on this particular emotion.

"You're making cookies?" She didn't answer his question and instead silently asked him to sit down at the wood kitchen table. The intoxicating smell of cookies baking filled the empty spaces of his nose and ears, as if he could hear the cookies sizzling in the heat of the oven. His Santa-sock covered feet made no sound on the hard wood floor and he remembered sliding across it when he got new socks as a younger child. Sophie cried softly upstairs and he desperately wanted to go to her and out of the extremely awkward conversation that was enduing.

She didn't beat around the bush. 30 years later, Will would still remember the look in her eyes, how his fingers intertwined with each other and controlled the heat passing between them. He would remember the way Donna bit the inside of her cheek and his feet crossed over each other nervously. He tried to control the violent shaking of his leg but it was impossible.

"Your parents got hit by another driver." And so did Will. Figuratively, of course. His leg stopped shaking and his brain ceased all movement. He tried to breathe but his lungs closed and refused to let anything pass. Everything was louder now, and he could see short films of his time with his parents, both good and heart breakingly bad, flash before his eyes. Wasn't that only supposed to happen when you die? Was he dying?

"In their will, they wanted me to take care of you and Sophie if anything happened." She wouldn't stop talking. She needed to, he couldn't focus, he was about to shut down from all emotion and the burden of his public persona. His finger bounced violently against the table, hurting him, but keeping him sane as he focused on that sound. The sound that only got louder and was probably annoying to Donna, but he didn't give a shit for the first time in his life. "I got a job offer in Manhattan a week ago. They'll try to keep me here, but can't promise anything." Three years later the same situation would come about and she would tell him they were moving and that she enrolled him in an Arts school because she saw potential in him.

Will tried to choke out words, but failed and let his chair falling to the ground speak for him. Donna called after him but all he heard was white noise. He walked up the stairs and picked Sophie up, held her small and warm body in his arms. Her outfit was soft against his rough and callused fingertips and her skin was even softer. She was oblivious to the news Will just received and giggled at him. He giggled as a result of her and a tear dropped onto her onesie. The feeling that took over Will's body at that moment was one that would ride out for the rest of his life. He had to protect his sister, and everyone he cared about. And right now, he didn't care for his aunt.

Will didn't spend much time with Donna when his parents were alive but the small amount he did, she was nice, considerate and caring. In fact, the 'real Donna', he called her, was the complete opposite. In the simplest terms; Will's Aunt Donna was a bitch. She didn't care about his feelings, thoughts or emotions and completely disregarded the fact that he and his sister existed for the most part. Occasionally he would find empty Chardonnay bottles in the trash, piled amongst each other. He took it upon himself to take care of his sister and in essence grew up quicker than he planned. On his first day of school in Manhattan, Will's day started normal. It was a Wednesday. He took care of Sophie and himself before driving her to daycare and himself to school.

The school was huge, divided by wings. He would be in the east wing and his map literally saved his life on most instances during the day. He nervously played with his bracelets, and tried to easy his anxiety as he sat in first period. He didn't have OCD but as he sat a good distance from the teachers desk and the board organizing the fabric on his wrists, reminding himself lowly what each meant, he could have convinced himself he was obsessive compulsive.

Students trickled into the classroom and as much as Will cared, they could be in black and white, each wearing costumes or dressed as horror movie stars. The only one he picked his head up at was a redhead, a type he would never be attracted to. Something was different about her. It wasn't her tight skirt and top, the way her long legs glided along the floor without being annoying, or the way her curls gently but not innocently framed her face that attracted him to her. She was different from every other girl in the way she grinned just the slightest when she saw him sitting behind her.

He was wearing a gray sweatshirt, one that was baggy but fitted to him also. Plain blue jeans covered his lean legs and vintage looking surf shoes provided the cover his feet needed from the harsh, unforgiving world. Thick 5 o'clock shadow covered his jaw and cheeks. His head was covered with curls and his ears were plugged with earbuds. If she tried she could hear the pulsating beat of loud music. Rock? Pop? Dubstep? Rap? Maybe she could find out later when she inevitably got to know him.

Will didn't focus on the lesson being taught in whatever class he had for first period. Instead his attention was on the redhead in front of him. He learned she was friends, or at least known, with most of the class, nerds excluded. Her laugh was beautiful and he would do anything to provoke that sound from her. She was moderately smart, always jumping into the class conversation with a witty remark or question but always seriously. Her name was Emma and if he believed in the feeling of love he might consider himself under its spell.

Running proved to be a great multi-tasking pastime. While working out, Will could familiarize himself with the town. The same song repeated for the 10th time and Will knew it was time to go home. He probably smelled grotesque, not that anyone he knew was around. He stopped in front of a coffee shop to catch his breath so he could pace evenly back to the house. A pop-rock beat pulsated in his ears and he couldn't hear anything else. Peering at the coffee shop from across the street he saw three girls walk out, talking and laughing. In between the blonde the brunette, who could have faces of an 80 year old as far as Will cared, was Emma; the redhead from first period.

_I've been here looking dynamite alone against the wall.  
Girls like you give it all so cold, talkin' cheap in a bathroom stall.  
I've got something that I've kept inside and the blood is on the blade._

She and her friends sat down, and she looked right at him. The intensity in her eyes almost scared him into looking away but he straightened up and stretched his arms. He didn't know why, he wasn't using his arms to run.

_You're there sucking on your lollipop like you haven't aged a day.  
It ain't so pretty when you're playing cute; when your body's up against some fool.  
Does he feel it? 'Cause I feel it._

Will knew, from the look in her eyes that getting to know her wasn't such a bad idea.

He would call it lucky, but he wasn't shy and he wasn't short on confidence in how he looked and it just happened that the opportunity to meet her officially came before he could introduce himself.

Journalism class was where it happened. The room was huge, almost like the band room at his old high school. Mr. Green went around to each kid and asked them what they would change if they could only change one thing about themselves. The answers were interesting and it was impromptu so nobody had any time to mull and think what to cover up and what to reveal. He explained that the key to becoming good was being comfortable with your insecurities and whatever you're good at, "What compensates" he explained. He went on to say, "You don't have to like that you pick at your nails," He used Will's answer. "But coming to peace with that increases your self confidence and therefor makes you less insecure, and a better live performer." He was of course talking about jobs wherein people have to be on camera in a second, reporting the news.

He walked back to the board at the front of the class and scribbled the words _'Rocky Horror'_ in red marker. "Who knows what this is?" All the hands in the classroom shot up. "Good. Put your hands down. The drama club will be performing Rocky Horror this year. It won't be ready for halloween, but put a spin on it." He turned back around and wrote a date. "That is the show date, start thinking of articles."

Then he split the class into groups of two and called out names in pairs. The only names Will heard, and cared about, came out last with Mr. Green's fingers pointing at them though they were across the room from each other. "New kid, Emma."

Will wasn't surprised by her outfit, her hair, or even her stunning body. What he was most taken aback with was what uttered from her sweet lips when she walked over to him. "Hey, you're in my first period!" The idea that Emma would remember him out of every one she socializes with and the fact that they had never spoken was a mesmerizing sign to him.

"Yeah, I'm Will." He saw her mouth begin to move and her eyes transform questionably before he answered her unasked question. "I moved here about two weeks ago. I'm from Arizona. I know, 'Oh red rocks!' I swear, everything I see has a orange tint." Will surprised himself by having an easy, open conversation with a perfect stranger without them inputting anything into it. He knew she was talkative. And she was talking to him, with her body language. She crossed her legs (though that could've been the skirt's doing) and angled toward him. Her eyes were alight with a passion, telling him she was interested but that sign was so easy to fake even Sophie did it to him.

When she finally added to the conversation he took on a shy protected persona almost afraid of exposing to much though she already felt like his best friend.

"Will, were you listening?" Emma's eyes begged for conformation but not needily. He had to be honest, and that thought let to an irrelevant war in his mind about honesty, one he did not want to engage in unless it was spoke amongst a group of people.

"No, I'm sorry I zoned out." He looked up at her, a sincere apology written in his eyes. "I don't know why, that was rude. What were you talking about?" He knew they were supposed to be doing something involving Rocky Horror.

"My friend Rebecca is hanging out with this guy Eric, and hey," Her train of thought got derailed at distraction, something Will noticed happened a lot. "You're on the soccer team, right?" He nodded feeling that she wouldn't let him get a word in if he tried. "You should know him, he's the goalie."

He laughed genuinely and again at her face of innocence at his amusement. "That's like asking an Indian if they know all Indians."

Emma showed faux shock, "Wait, they don't?" He laughed at her and shook his head, watching as she copied him and her curls bopped around her beautiful face, shocking himself at his mental use of adjectives.

x

Will was a virgin. Embarrassing? Yes. Shameful? Will didn't think so. The only thing that brought up this thought process was a conversation in the locker room just after his journalism class. Everybody was animatedly involved in it, besides Will who tried to stray away but sat awkwardly at his locker when that tasked proved not possible with the time and space given to him.

"So Will, how many girls have fallen for that gorgeous face of yours?" Alex, one of the kickers on the soccer team, ran his hand down Will's jawline when he asked and strangely everybody seemed to know that, even though they acted sometimes, nobody in this room was gay. Some of the other guys laughed. It was obvious that Will was attractive, maybe even enough they felt threatened to introduce their girlfriends because he hadn't met one.

"Haha. You know, I'd rather keep it to myself." Will was reserved when he spoke, and sometimes he missed the thirteen year old who would make up a ridiculous story that was so obviously fake, but so eccentrically created that everyone would stick around to hear it.

"Oh don't tell me you're a virgin!" Eric spat out from a corner and walked over to sit near him. "You're at least five times prettier than I am, and I've got some!" The guys in the locker room made a large unanimous noise that sounded like a mix between laughter and 'ohhhh's.

"Oh yeah?" Alex pipped up. "Tell us then."

Eric gladly went into graphic details of what his ex-girlfriend did to him, and let him do to her as the guys listened with intent. The bell rang for lunch and they filed out of the locker room, into the slightly cooler air of the hallway and down to the cafeteria.

"Hey, Will! Come sit over here!" Almost gladly he sat down next to Eric who had his arms around a girl Will presumed to be Eric's current girlfriend.

"Hey," Eric addressed the table minutes later and Will realized Emma sat almost directly across from him. A slight twinkle in his eyes and the tiny rise of the corners of his lips was the only greeting he would give her at this point in their relationship. Maybe later he could greet her with a wave, a hug, or even a kiss.

"This guy," Eric's pat on his shoulder brought Will out of his daydream and into the light of embarrassment. "Is a virgin. Complete, unspoiled virgin." Will picked at his food and cast his head downward in the slightest. "And by the guess of his blush, he's barely made out."

"Eric," He expected it to be Emma's voice that stood up for him but it was his girlfriend, Rebecca. "Did you have to do that? Sometimes you're an ass, you know." She walked away in a huff and Will could already tell that in two weeks Emma would tell him how they broke up.

When he picked up his gaze Emma was looking at him. Her eyes perked up, registering that he caught her. She smiled shyly in his direction and he returned the favor. Her eyes asked if he was okay, and he nodded a response. It intrigued her greatly that someone so attractive as Will could be as inexperienced as Eric made him out to be. Emma believed there had to be a story behind the reason, and she would find out sooner than later. He couldn't tell the reason behind her stare however; he was only a confused boy anyway.


	2. X2

**A/N: Thank you all so very much for the reviews, the mentions on twitter and the messages on tumblr. I don't think I have ever had such a great response to a story before. Please keep it up! My face lights up with a great big smile everytime I get an email from ff. (Also lit fans fear no more a chapter is on the way! Pinky swear c:)**

_"__Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."_ - Albert Camus

Will sat behind Emma in what he found to be an Honors English class. A black and white student made film of Edgar Allen Poe's _The Tell Tale Heart_ shown across the screen as Will tried to focus. He kept thinking that if his parents were violently ill at the time of their death it would be easier to cope with losing them than the sudden loss he suffered. Racking his brain he couldn't even find if they exchanged I love you's.

Death. This whole semester was about death. _Too much too fast, too much too fast._ He had to seem unfazed because he didn't want his reputation to be 'that guy who ran out on The Tell Tale Heart in sobs' in fact he didn't want a reputation at all. He knew that was impossible so he quietly took the bathroom pass, walked down the hallway, through the bathroom door and into a stall before finally collapsing in sobs. He never felt this sort of grief since the shock of their death paved over. He loved his parents, but only the basic love a child has for his parents. After everything he saw, he couldn't love them as people, but he didn't hate them.

When he picked up his head and dried his tears he noticed writing on the walls, literally. In blue marker, someone proudly wrote; _'I fucked Emma Pillsbury!'_ Underneath in red marker, were the two words he wished could be erased from his memory._'Who hasn't?'_

Mr. Green told the class to meet up with their pair partner after school to get to know each other and start their Rocky Horror articles. Emma looked around his room, at the posters and knick knacks he put up already and wondered how such a complex person could seem so simple in public. She took a baseball from his floor, laid down on his bed and played catch while waiting for Will to come home.

Sports littered his floor and desk. He had an addictive personality and sports were a great outlet for his anger. He joined any sport he could. Volleyball, soccer, baseball, wrestling, basketball, and football. He was a star in all from the time he was thirteen. By age sixteen he mangaed to narrow the choices down to two, since six sports was way too much. Now his passion was soccer and baseball.

Will jumped under the cool spray of the shower and let the water massage the knots that formed in record time. When he left to run he put new boxers on top of the counter knowing he would shower and need new ones. Drying his hair, he walked down the hallway completely set on going into his room and relaxing. His leg was tackled just barely halfway down the large hallway and he stumbled into the wall.

"Sophie, what are you doing?" She hung tighter to his leg.

"I'm attacking you! Surrender now or face my wrath!" Her tiny fists punched his leg as she sat on his foot and took down her tall brother. He faux collapsed to the ground and she climbed on his stomach and punched the creases of his abs and banged on his pecks. "Do you give up?!"

"Yes! Yes, I give up!" He threw his hands up in defeat and his head back in laughter when Sophie sat up and kissed her biceps.

"Will, come play castle with me!" Her little voice pipped up and her face gleamed with pride. "Your tiara is forming dust bunnies!"

"Okay Soph, just let me get something from my room." He kissed her nose and picked her up for a short giggle before letting her run off to her room. He walked down the rest of the hallway quite confident in himself due to how much she wanted to play with him.

In his room his eyes were met with an altered vision than the one he knew. A tiny red head lay on his bed playing catch with his baseball. "What are you doing here?" He tried to make his voice sound as calm as possible but he looked over his shoulder as to ask _'How did you get in?'_

"I told your aunt we had to practice for an article in journalism class. Speaking of," Emma let her eyes wander around his torso amusedly. "You'd made a great Rocky with that body."

He chuckled almost awkwardly and turned around to his closet. She admired the way the muscles in his back flexed and tensed under her gaze. To her slight dismay he slipped on a tank top that almost juxtaposed the act of putting it on at all, as the cuts of the shoulders did not begin to meet again until just under his ribs. They poked out at her and she was confident she could reach out and have no issue feeling the bone underneath the skin. She could see a scar the width of half her palm and the length of her forearm across his ribs. For a fleeting second she was concerned of his past, then he turned around and her eyes met his, wondering as she noticed she was still on his bed completely and she almost motioned for him to come over.

If he got her notion he didn't act on it choosing rather to stand there confused, looking at a gorgeous girl on his bed.

"You know," Emma comfortably rested her elbow on his pillow, and her cheek on her hand. "Usually, when a guy sees a beautiful girl laying on his bed, he adores her." She spoke slowly and with sharp diction in her voice.

Will took slow steady steps towards her and cocked his eyebrow. He showed no sign of faltering, despite that they both knew he was a virgin and knew absolutely nothing about sex or even the act of love. "Do you want me to adore you?"

The tone in his voice made her shiver deep in her lower back and goosebumps appear on her arms. He took her time of silence to admire the way she lay on his bed, her outfit, her hair, her. He could see the curve of her breasts from the sleeve of her tank top and wondered if she was cold, and if she had a bra on. The latter made blood rush to his lower regions and he prayed the boxers he still donned were not tight and would completely ignore his urges. The shirt went far past the waist band of her large sweat pants and even though it looked like a 'lazy day' outfit she still was purely beautiful.

"You know my reputation." Emma took the conversation into a different direction all together. "And that scares you, doesn't it?"

"No." Will's voice counteracted hers unintentionally. "That's your life and you're obviously not being forced into it." She fell silent again and when he spoke up his voice was very noticeably quieter than before. "What does it feel like?"

"Sex?" She knew what he was asking, but it was so general and she felt so comfortable with him. She sat up as his weight made the mattress dip. His head hit the wall, not forcefully but enough to make a noise. She scooted closer to him and copied. Maybe he'd let her touch him.

"Anything."

"Why don't you know?" She suggested the thought on her brain with surprising diction to his attractiveness.

"I don't want to lose control." She was about to retort with some cliché line about the fun of letting go when his frustrated and high pitched voice pierced the air before he calmed it. "Can you just tell me?"

She searched her brain for a way to describe it. It felt different for everyone and depended on who you were with. If she said that, it'd leave him wondering and he would ask her to go on. She would say she couldn't because it's a personal experience. One of two things would happen after that. He would ask her to show him, or he would huff in frustration before changing the subject. Emma mulled over the two options before deciding that she couldn't do either to him. He was really sweet and innocent, and she couldn't take that innocence away simply because she wanted to explore him.

"You work out a lot, don't you?" He looked over at her, wondering where this was going. He nodded his head nonetheless. "When you get really angry at someone or something do you go to the gym and beat up a punching bag?" He nodded again. "You know how you feel after that, or a really good work out?"

He seemed disappointed when he turned to her. "Really?"

"Well...Sort of. It's hard to explain because-"

A sharp call of his name interrupted their intimate conversation. "Wiiiiiiiiil!" Sophie burst through the door and ignored that he was with someone. She jumped into his lap and placed her hands on the top of his chest. "You were supposed to play castle with me!" With the most serious voice a three year old can have she asked, "Do you not like being a princess?"

Emma let out a giggle before covering her mouth, trying not to embarrass Will too much.

"Hi!" Sophie quickly moved in between them, promises of castles and princesses totally forgotten. "I'm Sophie! Are you Will's girlfriend?" The blush on his face was too vibrant to go unnoticed by either girl.

"Well, not in so many ways." Emma went into a long explanation of their relationship and Sophie was entranced. Will let a gentle smile play on his lips as she finished her thorough analysis. Her hands flew around wildly as her eyes sparkled and she leaned against him, placing her hand on his open shoulder at random intervals. The entire conversation was a haze for him and he was glad no one brought it up in the future.

"Let me tell you something, Sophie." Her face perked up and radiated excitement. "Next time I come over, I'll play castle with you. And I'll even make Will be your princess."

Donna poked her head through the door and called Sophie down for dinner. After she left, Will and Emma looked at each other, wondering what to do now. She noticed the sun was starting to set. She didn't care that much, but something about Will's presence made her want to be a better person and for once, follow the rules. "I should probably get going."

"I'll walk you home."

Emma protested. "I know my way home." Will grasped at her wrist as she got up from his bed and pulled her to the edge. _Wow, Will is strong._ Then she noticed the muscles in his arm and mentally slapped herself for thinking he was weak just because he was skinny.

"Please." His voice dripped with desperation and a low form of neediness. Emma nodded. A feeling of bitter cessation fell into the room. "Did you bring a jacket? It's cold outside." She giggled. Just as the mood started to float into the sky, he brought it down to earth. She shook her head 'no' and he frantically jumped from the bed to the closet, trying to find the perfect jacket for her.

"No, Will you don't have to...I'll be fine, really." Before she could finish he presented what looked like a plain gray hoodie but upon inspection turned out to be the one he was wearing the first time they saw each other. She gazed at him with a look bordering between heartbreakingly sweet and adoration and let him slip it over her head. When he fixed it to her body her hair was slightly messed up and he tried to fix it but her hands on his stopped the action.

"It's fine." She pulled their hands to arm level and regretfully let go to push hair out of her eyes. "And this is really warm."

"I know." Those two words were all he uttered as he slipped a jacket over his broad shoulders and his arms, also slipping into a pair of jeans. Turning to her, he stuck his hand out in request, to which she accepted firmly and he dragged her down the stairs and out the door into the cold November air of Manhattan.

She guided him to her family's townhouse where he dropped her off. She felt his eyes on her and his warm hand in hers the whole way and she knew why. She read somewhere that '_the unexamined life was not worth living'_, and he was exactly the type to believe that crap.


	3. X3

**A/N: A special birthday shoutout to Avonleay, cause she's a sweetie pie :). Also, if Life In Technicolor isn't up but Monday evening, you have permission to charge to my house with pitchforks and things on fire. Enjoy this chapter :)**

_"Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something."_ - Plato

Emma was a virgin of love. She doesn't know how it feels to think about someone all the time, or to feel as if your heart will burst if you don't see them any time you can and she doesn't know that love can hurt as much as it can help. Even when asked who her real friends are, she had no answer. Taking away all the parties, sex, and ocassional substance abuse, she was just a lonely kid looking to fit in. And part of "fitting in" was going to the sporting events. She told herself this so she wouldn't have to admit that she was going to see if Will was any good. And for journalism. Yeah, journalism.

Will sighed as he dropped his backpack to the floor of the locker room and plopped on the bench and leaned against the lockers. He would rather stay home watch movies like he was doing a lot of recently upon finding Donna's amazing movie collection. He loved film. He would go into the profession if he could ever understand the in-the-moment lingo. Tonight was the first soccer game of the season and his coach made it _very_ clear he was to be there. Lately if Sophie wasn't sleeping she was playing with her toys and he felt bad for almost forcing her to grow up by herself, but he wasn't her father and he didn't want to act like one. He was only a 16 year old with a mess of a life.

The crowd was loud and Will walked out in awe at the small stadium. His old school never had such a positive response to sports, but always had sports. When he got on the field and started playing, nothing could distract him. Normally. Tonight, a cheerleader caught his eye each and every time he ran down the field. She was the loudest on the sidelines, and someone he would usually be attracted to, unlike Emma. He actually felt like he was cheating on her but they weren't dating and he had to shake that feeling off.

The cheerleader was so beautiful and kept smiling directly at him. Will forcefully kicked the ball into the goal, scoring a point. He looked up to the crowd and was shocked at the red hair that caught his eye. _Emma?_ He honestly thought she didn't liked sports. He started to run back into the game, and ran into another player's shoulder. Will saw him in the newspaper a while ago. His name was Jacob and he was too buff for a high schooler.

"Hey, why don't you watch your step?" Jacob stepped back and pushed Will's shoulders and stood, waiting for Will to respond.

"Don't push me." Will gritted his teeth and his fist closed by his sides. Sports made him aggressive when once they were outlets for him not to be aggressive.

"I'll push you if I want to." To emphasis, Jacob pushed him again. Will's knuckles collided with his jaw and he kicked Jacob in his groin. Will was quite surprised when Jacob fell to the ground. His testosterone took control of his actions as he straddled Jacob's waist and began beating his fist onto his face. Will picked him up by his collar and dragged him to his feet. Jacob started throwing punches back. One to Will's cheekbone, and one on his eye. The referee pulled them apart before either boy could get more injured, but Will was kicking the air as he was being dragged away by the police that monitored the school.

"Will, what the _hell _was that?" Will blocked his coach out as he screamed about disrespect and carelessness and finally sighed when he let him go. Will pulled into his driveway, dragged himself up the stairs and into a shower. He put on sweat pants he got from soccer and hastily walked down the stairs to grab two bags of frozen vegetables and a heating pad from the cabinet in the hallway. He swallowed a muscle relaxing pill and lay on his bed with the heating pad warming his back, and frozen vegetables on his eye and shin.

A light tapping on his window surprised him and brought him out of an almost sleep state. He groaned as he got up and checked who would be outside. The light on the side of the house told him it was Emma. He opened the window and she climbed in.

She gauged his injuries as he lay back down on his bed and she leaned forward, wishing to be above him sensually. "Are you okay?" Her teeth held her bottom lip captive as she waited for his response.

"Yeah, I guess I'm-" Will let out a hiss at the ice of vegetables he put back on his shin. "-fine." He closed his eyes and hummed to himself.

"What's with the heating pad?" Emma sat next to him, and he moved over slightly to give her room. He extended his arm over her shoulders and she subconsciously snuggled closer.

"My shoulders hurt." Emma demanded he lay on his stomach. "You've got to be kidding. I _just_ got comfortable."

"Trust me, I'm a really good masseuse." On his skeptical face she added, "I'm trained. Really."

He hesitantly lay down and Emma admired his back that was exposed to her, thanks to his lack of shirt and watched as the muscles tensed and relaxed under her touch. She worked her thumbs in slow circles along his spine and the muscles around until she reached his strong shoulders. She kneaded the muscles slowly, making sure to locate all the tensed areas. After working for 15 minutes Emma lowered herself to sit fully on Will's lower legs, just before his ass and made herself comfortable as she worked on his shoulders and moved on to his biceps. She couldn't help but feel awed at his still surprisingly strong arms flexing involuntarily to her touch; and she licked her lips when they suddenly felt dry. "Did you walk all the way over here?" He mumbled into the bed sheet.

"Nope. I'm your neighbor." Emma answered nonchalantly as if it meant nothing and moved her hands around his back aimlessly yet still working wonders.

"Then where did I take you the other day?" He sounded offended when he thought she was lying to him and almost flipped over. He was overall glad he didn't because he had absolutely no energy and it would leave them in an extremely awkward situation. Yet, he would be okay with that.

"My Dad's house. Stop talking, or you won't get the full effect." She worked on him until she couldn't feel the knots anymore, suprised he had so many deep knots in the first place. "Okay! All done!" She got off of him and hopped on the bed as he flipped over. His hand fell on her knee and lower thigh as he got comfy but he didn't remove it afterwards.

"Thank you Emma. That was…great." He smiled and closed his eyes, leaning back and fully relaxing. He sighed deeply and she could tell this was the first time he was truly relaxed in a long time. She smiled, and thought maybe, just maybe, she loved him. He started telling her about something he had to do for journalism, and since it was 11 at night, Emma didn't beat herself up for yawning. She rubbed her eyes as if that would make her less tired and nodded to his story. He opened his eyes and grinned at her. He never wanted this feeling of being so relaxed to end.

"Em, you have…" He sat up and cupped her face, removing the small black line on her face. He looked in her eyes, seeing a look of shock. "an eyelash." He finished and started at her lips, feeling drawn to them. She must've felt it too, because he saw her eyes close and her face tilt towards his.

He pulled away before they could kiss, his hand now taking home on the side of his face as he looked at his bed sheets. "I'm…I'm," He stuttered on his words and refused to look at her. "I don't think I could handle a relationship right now."

It took a long time for Emma to respond. She hardly processed what happened and it being so late made her play catch up with herself. "Um…" She pushed hair from her eyes, refusing to meet his gaze as well. "That's okay. Yeah I understand." She said as if she had to convince herself, and maybe she did. She showed him a small smile as they looked at each other for the first time in a long time and said goodbye, slipping into the darkness.

x

"Will?" He was caught in a reverie today and wouldn't look at her. It scared her and the idea that she already missed him scared her more.

"Yeah?" He loved her voice profusely and automatically regretted not talking to her. He ran his hands through his hair, put his elbow on his knee and faced her.

She was lost. "I don't know, you're distant today. I-I miss you." Emma went on and honestly he didn't listen. He needed to stop that.

Today he was thinking about everything possible and the way her eyes sparkled and her hands moved around when she vividly described the California coast, and the innovation of her voice speaking of something she felt passion towards did not help in the catching of his pondering, runaway mind.

After his parents death it seemed that his whole world became black and white, only suffering bursts of color when Sophie giggled or touched him. For three years he lived the life of someone color blind to the beautifulness of the world and all that changed drastically when Emma walked into his vision. In the short time he knew her, she completely lit up his world and made life worth living again. He could see every color vividly when she was around, like living a life in technicolor. Darkness finally evaded.

He was slightly aware that she just invited him to a party and declined. "I have to take care of Sophie. Donna's been staying at work late." He left out the part that she never took care of either of them anyway simply because that was too much, too soon. Instead he watched her face adopt sadness before turning toward Mr. Green as he requested her attention. He wouldn't try to figure her out. He agreed absolutely with the song pulsating in his left ear as he gazed at the girl to his right. Love is madness.


	4. X4

**A/N: Thank you so much for your continuted support. As always, heres the next chapter. Enjoy!**

* * *

_"All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else." - Mae West_

Will wasn't usually up at 2 am, but his damn English teacher demanded a five paragraph essay in which the students analyze the most boring piece of text ever written. Will hummed the _A Rush Of Blood To The Head_ album that pulsed through the fabric on his stereo.

"Youuuuu arrrrre" Will sang along and tried his hand at beat boxing that failed. He was feeling really good and he hadn't felt that way in a while. It wasn't that he was sad but he wasn't as upbeat and happy go lucky in so long he forgot when. His phone beeped on his couch and he jumped off his bed to see what kind of notification he would get in the middle of the night.

A text from Emma. She seemed to let sentences flow into each other, never really ending but always beginning. Will plopped on the couch cushion and tried to understand. It seemed she thought they were already talking about something, but he didn't text her all week.

_"I don't understand you Will. You act like you want me but you never make a move. Am I intimidating to you? I don't have an STD I promise. I'd like to date you you seem like you would be a good boyfriend. I know I'm not your type I can see it in your eyes but opposites attract right? I don't know. You were really hot on that soccer field and you really do have a great body. I want to touch it. You can touch mine. We could date first if you want to. I do like you Will."_

Will stared at his phone blankly and in a state of shock, with his laptop sitting on his bed, paper completely forgotten, and a song about urgency playing in the background. He would have to finish his paper tomorrow because now, all he was thinking about was Emma.

Monday came and Will put _Maroon 5_ on an endless repeat 'cause it seemed like that kinda day. Emma smiled widely at him when he walked through the doorway of their English class. The desks were arranged in groups and had been for a few weeks. Emma was in his group, along with Eric and Rebecca. They insisted on sitting next to each other therefor forcing Will and Emma to sit closer than they probably wanted. If they told that to themselves though, they would be lying and they both knew.

Emma admired the way his shirt, featuring Kelly Kapowski, fit on his torso and how his black sweat pants that although baggy, looked wonderful on his legs. Before she could say any type of greeting he asked her the question he was burning to ask all weekend.

"Did you mean it?"

Emma smiled gently at him, "Mean what?" Will pulled out his phone and showed her message, the one that was engrained in his brain. A long 'oh' escaped her mouth, falling across the time stamp and the words she recklessly texted him.

A long moment passed before she finally lowered his phone back to his lap, looked directly into his eyes and answered him as Eric and Rebecca took their seats. "Yes."

"Are you guys finally going out?" Eric teased them and he plopped his book bag on the floor and slid into his desk. He put his intertwined hands on top of the desk and waited in excitement.

Emma looked at Will who exchanged a pleading look. "Well,"

Will cut her off before she could make a mountain out of a mole hill. "Not in so many words." Will smiled brightly at both of them before indulging in a mundane conversation of what Eric and Rebecca did that weekend that both Will and Emma zoned out of, entranced in their own creative minds.

x

Emma stretched herself out on his bed, making her shirt ride up past her belly button. Will noticed this just like he noticed her toned thighs and messy hair when she came into his room. He invited her over to watch a movie because Sophie wouldn't stop asking him. Irony is, Sophie went down for a nap half an hour after Emma arrived. An old 50's movie played on the tv.

"Are you tired?" He sat up in his bed. She said all she wanted to do was hang out but Will didn't believe her. He never really did. Despite her disagreement he saw her yawn. "Do you want more popcorn?" He handed her the large bowl but she refused that as well.

If anything, she was aroused. She knew what they could do while they were alone in his room and why they weren't doing those things. "Have you ever been kissed?" She sat up hastily and turned around to him. His eyes darted from the tv to her and he raised his eyebrow in suspicion.

"Yes." She didn't look relieved, but less worried. "Why?"

"Oh, I was just wondering." Will repeated himself, amusingly loving where this was going. "Was it nice? Did you like it?" She spat out quickly without so much as a pause.

"Very much." Will smirked. "Why are you so curious?"

"I've just been thinking a lot," She bit her lip and looked down at her hands and realized he let go. "About that text and how you felt about it."

Will couldn't take the tension he felt from keeping a secret from the girl who easily became his best friend. "I'm dating someone." Her head shot up and she nervously played with her fingers. "Her name is Brittany. She's a cheerleader." Later, this would be the moment in which each of their hands would fly to their forehead as they realized what a mistake that was. But now, now it didn't matter. All that mattered now was the hurt and the broken feelings.

He restrained from apologizing. He wasn't sorry he liked someone else. He liked her too, but she was too confusing for him to figure out. He wasn't giving up on her, he was simply taking a break.

"I thought we had something."

"Why would you think that?" He didn't give her time to answer, but continued speaking his thought process as it came about. "You're on every mind on the upper east side. Why do you want me?" He threw the blankets off him and turned the down the volume of the tv, wishing he could turn down the craziness of his life.

"I think I love you." She spoke with confidence, she never told a boy she loved them. She hoped she was doing it right though she knew she wasn't. "I want you to belong to me, and me only." She whispered, a little fearful of his tone.

"I'm sorry, Emma." He truly felt sorry, though moments ago not wanting to apologize. "I know this thing with Brittany won't last forever, but I had to move on from you." He took a deep breath because he wanted nothing more than to be with her.

"What was all that 'I'm not ready for a relationship' then?" Emma spat back, only now remembering the things he whispered when they almost kissed. Thinking of that made her hurt in ways she never thought she could and she hoped this would be over soon so she could go home and cry.

"It's complicated." Looking at her, he knew that wasn't enough. "I know that's a shit excuse but I couldn't do this with you anymore. It was confusing, it was giving me headaches!"

"Okay Will. I'll see you around." Emma bolted from the bed and slipped on the jacket she took off and let her feet carry her out the bedroom as fast as they could. He tried to call her name but he knew it was pointless and instead watched the muscles of her ass and upper thighs carry her from his room.


	5. X5

**A/N: I bring you this chapter early on a number of special occasions. 1) It is the 8 year anniversary of the CD this story is named after and 2) It was my last day of school today and I'm on a high so to speak. For many of you I assume this won't make a difference as you're in different time zones than I and won't see it until Friday anyway, but for those who do see it; this is for you. This is where I see the plot ****_really_**** picking up, so I hope you enjoy :)**

_"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world." - Anne Frank_

Time flew by, and Will had no time to talk to Emma or even notice if she was in school. He knew he could walk the short distance to her Mom's house and see if she was over, but he never did. He blamed it on having a lot of school work, but he knew even though that was true, it wasn't the reason he wasn't seeing her. He was spending lots of time with Brittany, as boyfriend and girlfriend do. They made out a lot and Will was super glad. He didn't know much about anything sexual and saw this as an opportunity to learn. Sophie didn't like her though, and would rather be playing in the dirt (occasionally trying to give Brittany a mud pie which upon further inspection was full of worms and bugs) than hanging out with her self proclaimed best friend in the world and his girlfriend.

Will could remember a day when Brittany was upstairs on his laptop, responding to emails from colleges (at least, that's what she told him) and Will went down to check on Soph. "Hey Soph. Britt and I are going to watch a movie in a little bit, do you want to join?" He opened a popcorn bag and put it in the microwave, turning around to her playing with pots.

"No." She ran a truck through two large pots. "I don't like Britt. She's a birch." She banged on the top of the pot with a wooden spoon and said something about a traffic ticket.

"A what?" The microwave dinged, but Will didn't turn around; more concerned for what his four year old sister just called his girlfriend.

"A birch." She looked up, wondering why her brother didn't understand the simple word. "A meanie. She doesn't want to eat my mud pies." Will tried to throw her comment over his shoulder, she was only a four year old, but the seed was planted and he and his obsessive thoughts could not rid the replay of her words.

The winter dance was coming up soon and Brittany wanted to go, so Will said he would take her. They bought the nonrefundable tickets and nice clothing but while they were planning what they would do over the course of the night, Brittany broke up with him. She said they're over, gave a reason and hung up. Will sat on his bed with his phone against his ear, as if she would call back and say it was all a joke for a few moments, trying to understand what just happened. The phone dropped from his hold and he watched it, his eyes falling on the note paper where their plans sat. He ripped it out with more force than needed and with serene calmness; crumbled it up and threw it in the trash can.

A pop song played overhead and Will thought this was quite strange, as when one thinks of dances they might typically think of romantic songs and slow dances. But things change and Will honestly wasn't that concerned. He walked around the hotel ballroom, not searching for someone but being happy if he found anyone. The lights were overcast as red so it was more like a _Where's_ _Waldo_ hunt than looking for the girl who became his best friend so easily. He resorted to telling by the area just above where love handles would be (and where on some ladies). That was Will's favorite part of Emma's body and he would recognize it anywhere, anytime.

"Hey." Emma turned around quickly, surprised by his voice. "You look nice." She did. Her red dress was strapless and though it extended to the middle of her thigh, red fabric wrapped around the back and ended slightly below her knees, like a wave. If he jogged his memory enough, he could remember seeing the low-high combination on her before. Silver sequins came down from between her breasts and the dress itself hugged her perfectly.

"Thank you." She couldn't stop her blush as much as she tried and moved some hair out of her eyes. "You look nice too." His jacket and pants were the traditional black, but his vest was sliver and his tie, was a red color matching the color of her dress. She noticed the flower sticking up from the pocket.

He saw her looking at his flower and explained quickly. "Sophie put it on me. Not-not Brittany."

"I heard you two broke up." Will nodded and Emma bit her lip nervously. "Where is she anyway?" Emma peered over his shoulder, looking for a red or silver dress to match Will's outfit before realizing they matched. She blushed again and coughed lowly. She was never this awkward and self conscious around the other sex.

He looked over his shoulder for a second and noticed a group of their peers huddled in a circle. "She's probably in the middle of that circle showing everybody what's under her dress." Emma stifled a laugh and looked at him with a semi-shocked smile and he smiled back genuinely and laughed, allowing her the same release. The laughter sadly died down and he awkwardly played with his hands and she picked at her dress. He took a chance and mumbled quickly and nervously, "Hey, do you wanna dance?" The end of the pop song played overhead when he asked and she giggled.

"Are you sure you can dance?" Her hand covered her mouth as she tried not too hard to cover a shocked look and she looked him over obviously. She looked up at him with a smirk and put her weight on one foot before rocking forward.

"Better than anyone you know." He extended his hand and it was the look on his face than convinced her to take it in her own. She was reminded of the first time they hung out together, and how warm his hand was when he walked her home. Silence consumed the small world they were in together and she rested her head on his shoulder and made sure not to step on his feet which was harder than she thought.

"I'm sorry..." She took a breath and picked her head up from his shoulder to watch him. "For avoiding you lately."

He felt a wave of guilt and bit his lip as he looked over her head. He was about to respond when a band member stepped on stage and tapped the microphone a few times. The obnoxious sound made everyone in the room look up to the stage. Will's hand tightened in the slightest when he turned around and she blushed.

"Hey y'all!" He waved to the crowd, as if anyone would wave back. "We'll be singing a few songs for y'all today!" Emma thought his accent was kinda cute, and she actually loved talking to him just to hear the southern twang in his words. The band geek began playing on his guitar and everybody cheered because it sounded very 'foreign' to them.

Will smirked as he turned back to her, challenge in his eyes. "Kick it up a notch?" The song was calling for faster dancing than Will and Emma were, and he spun her around then took her other hand and swayed with her in an obnoxious way. They spun around the hotel ballroom and she giggled, and he smiled vibrantly at her. It wasn't until everyone started clapping along that they heard the lyrics.

_This thing called love I just can't handle it. This thing called love I must get round to it. I ain't ready for this crazy little thing called love._

"Hey," Emma leaned up to whisper in his ear when the song changed and they were slow dancing again. "I wanna tell you something later…" Will leaned into her low words at first, but then he smelled the alcohol on her breath and visibly tensed. "What's wrong?"

"Just...I smelled alcohol and I had a little flashback. I'm sorry."

"A flashback to what?" Her words were slightly jumbled and she put her head on his shoulder again. Her mouth was still open though, and some drool gathered in her bottom lip before she closed her mouth. He didn't answer her and slowly swayed to the song, hoping she would drop the subject. "Will?" She picked her head up and played with the curls at the nape of his neck. Seeing his face, her heart went out to him as if she could feel his heartbreak for whatever she hoped he would tell her.

"Um…Well, my family is basically a big bottle of whiskey." He laughed but stopped when he saw she didn't think it was funny. "Almost everyone gets really bad when they drink and they drink a lot." He sighed and hung his head, trying to find some strength to go on. "My Dad was abusive when he got drunk." He felt her hug him tightly as he held back sobs. "My Mom was submissive and one time I saw him hit her so I punched him and gave him a black eye and a broken nose. They died in a car crash a few months later. Donna is basically a 24/7 alcoholic and my older brother James failed rehab six times and just got his 20th DUI…I'm afraid of what would happen if I drink, so I don't."

"You know what?" His head perked up. "I'm going to stop drinking, out of respect and hope for you and your family." She smiled gently and he smiled back but his eyes were skeptical.

"Emma...You don't have to." He took her hand in his and ran his thumb across her palm. "You already do so much for me without even knowing it. It's fine, you know."

"No, Will. I want to." She grinned reassuringly at him. He smiled back, hoping that was enough emotional turmoil for the night.

The band stepped down and the DeeJay started playing requests. A pop song like one Will would usually listen to on occasion echoed off the corners of the room. '_I hear your heart beat to the beat of the drums. While you're here in my arms, let's make the most of the night like we're gonna die young.' _The room almost reeked of teenagers sweating alcohol, and the chaperones sat in chair on the side of the ballroom, sleeping. Looking around, Will realized a noticeable amount of people were missing and no doubt in their cars making the night truly a night to remember.

Emma's torso was pressed against him gently, but enough for him to feel the curve of her body. Her flowerly scent was intoxicating, but tonight it held something different. For a moment he had hope it would be his scent mixed with hers, maybe from the sweater she never gave back, and he never asked for, but resolved that it was probably just a new perfume by the same company. His hand on her back flinched and tightened subconsciously, pulling her closer.

"What did you want to tell me?" He remembered that her whisper in his ear began his confession of his family's history. The song changed in the room, starting with a quote from _Breakfast At Tiffany's_.

"Oh, it was nothing. Just," Her hand that rested on his bicep moved to cup his neck and she leaned her head to the side. He closed his eyes and copied her actions out of instinct.

Her lips were softer than he ever imagined they would be, and he could find himself easily getting distracted with them. He pulled her entire body against his and dragged his hands up her sides to tangle in her hair and gently caress her cheeks with his thumbs. They moved simply together, as if they had been kissing for a very extended period of time, but then were apart for a long time and just now reunited. While he was thinking this, her tongue slipped through his lips and he groaned so lowly, she didn't hear it, she only felt it.

Emma ran her hands through his hair slowly and gently, before coming around to his ears to cup his cheeks and gently push him away.

She was smirking when he opened his eyes and he pushed his forehead against her gently, desperate for contact and warmth. He was breathless in his confession. "I never thought I would enjoy kissing someone as much as I enjoyed kissing you."

Blush covered her face and he realized her face was colored for a while. "I've never been kissed like that. Ever." Quickly, she kissed him again, just in case they didn't get to later on. "I could do that all night." Her admission didn't go unnoticed by Will, though she tried to whisper it. He was tuned into her now. Everything she said, he heard. The music was loud in his ear and all he could hear was the lyrics. _'If it isn't love, why do I feel this way? Why does she stay on my mind? She says it's in my head, but I feel it in my heart. And If it isn't love…'_


	6. X6

**A/N: I hereby dedicate this chapter to my good friend Anna. Also note that the next chapter will be posted two weeks from now as we have reached the end of the X's. I hope you all enjoy!**

_"Truth, like morality, is a relative affair; there are no facts, only interpretations." - Friedrich Nietzsche _

Will was upset he could never "be a teenager" like he felt he should because he was always taking of his sister, so he was extremely excited to have an opportunity to go to a party with Emma. He didn't know if they were dating or not, but he thought they were. That's what a kiss signifies right? That you only want to be with that person. That's what Will thought, and that's why he took Emma's hand when she stepped from his car and they walked into the party. Her blush went unnoticed by Will, he was hit with a loud wave of music thumping off the walls.

He picked up two cups of soda, one for Emma, and returned to where she stood near a couch in the living room. "So…What do you want to do?" He felt as if he should stick to her tonight.

"Do ya wanna dance?"

Will held her close as the others danced wildly around them. She had taken something "for a cold" twenty minutes ago though he knew it was drugs and was acting intoxicated. "The music won't stop moving."

He chuckled lightly before returning his attention from the cars outside the window to her expecting face. "Yeah. It's a party, Em." She was shocked. "Lets sit down." Will gazed in her eyes sympathetically and convinced her to sit on couch next to him.

Moments later Eric sat next to him and asked him if he wanted a hit of whatever was held in his fingers. Will accepted it, purely for one reason; at this point of the night, his thought process was lost and he honestly wanted to rest. Will passed it to Emma, and as he watched the smoke curl from her lips and realized what he did - he didn't care.

He giggled. "Take another one." Will intercepted her hand returning it to Eric, and handed it to her again. He kissed her gently and felt the smoke fill his mouth until he had to break away. They chuckled at each other, high from the other's presence. Too soon for either to realize they were sitting across from each other playing spin the bottle.

One of Brittany's friend, Marie, spun, and it landed on Will. Brittany was there and according to rumors, she wanted Will back desperately. "Dare." His hands pulled his legs up from his Indian style sitting position, forcing him to rock back and forth gently. He felt brave, and confident.

"Too hot." Marie said the challenge slowly and he most certainly blushed under the low lights of some kid's living room. "Choose anyone you want." First his eyes went to Brittany knowing she was a good person to make out with, before spinning around to Emma. He knew the rules, and crawled to Emma, staring in her eyes deeply before taking a risk and kissing her sweetly. He pushed someone from her ear, and put his hand on the carpet below them. Her tongue caressed his lips and he couldn't resist but open his mouth to her.

Even under the influence of whatever they smoked earlier, Will was_ such_ a good kisser. She moved her mouth with his, and nibbled on his bottom lip. She started to pull away to catch her breath for a moment. He took her face in his and pulled her back to him, and he knew this action would render him the loser. He enjoyed the last kiss he subjected her to before Marie pulled him away with the sound of a fake buzzer.

"You lost!" She pushed him back in his spot and put her hand on Brittany's knee before giving the bottle to her. "Was he always such a wimp when you dated him?" He looked toward Emma to defend him, or at least send him an understanding look, but her spot was empty. "Now you have to take three hits!"

The rules had been modified to fit specifications set by the host of the party and Will was dragged to the counter where smoked filled the area and made it impossible to see.

Will found Emma one hour later, when she stumbled out the door. He caught her unintentionally, and they fell to the grass below. "What are stars?" He asked, still peering at them.

Emma laughed, and a chorus sung in his ears. He knew if he looked at her, she would be outlined with light from the heavens. He didn't look at her. "Are you an idiot?" Her words didn't sound spiteful, like Brittany's had so many times. Emma sounded fun and cute.

"Un-hun." With closed eyes he moved to her nuzzle her neck, and kissed it softly.

"Will..." He knew the way she said his name wasn't from pleasure, but from realizing that she needed to get home soon. He helped her up, but only after falling over several times himself, and kept her hand in his, gratefully. He pulled her to him and held her tightly, just outside the house wherein things happened that they wouldn't speak of the next day.

He kissed her because he felt like it and he wanted to feel her soft flesh moving against his. Their kisses escalated quickly for in half a minute Will's tongue was exploring her mouth. He pulled away with a drunken expression and a school boy smile. "I love you."

"I have to tell you something." Her bottom lip stuck out as she spoke, the product of Will sucking on it in the previous kiss. Her right eye scrunched up as did the right side of her mouth. "I kissed this football player, Tyler, and I drank a little bit." She peered at him upwards and her eyes begged for forgiveness.

"I thought you were mine." His lip fell forward in defeat and he whined but pulled himself together.

She stepped back and held her waist, offended. "I don't belong to anyone! I will not be caged in!"

"Oh, so when you love me I'm supposed to belong to you, but when I love you back you don't belong to me. What sense does that make Emma?!" She stuttered, but he didn't let her speak.

He was so fed up with her response to his confession of love that he recited the longest movie quote he could ever remember, feeling as if his tongue would not stop moving against his teeth if he tried. "I don't want to put you in a cage, I want to love you!" She shook her head, and he exploded. "You know what? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, 'Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness.' You call yourself a free spirit, a 'wild thing,' and you're terrified somebody's gonna stick you in a cage."

Emma stood from him, shocked at how far he would push the envelope. She felt as if her feet were nailed to the ground and she could not move if she tried, so she stood there hearing things they knew he would regret soon. "Well baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself." She was appalled, both that he would be so blunt and that he knew what she was feeling so well. "And maybe then, it's better that we just be friends." With help from the heavens he finally stopped talking and looked her over. He nodded his head as to affirm everything he just said and huffed, walking away without a word.

When Will got home safely, he climbed on the small section of the roof built under the window of his bed and climbed to the higher section of the roof. He stared at the stars like he had just an hour ago, yet this time missing his love. Gazing into the darkness around him, he saw himself as a creature driven and derided by vanity. His eyes burned with anguish and anger for the things he said that night.


	7. Y1

**A/N: I have never done the events in this chapter but I know they happen with teenagers more than I think a lot of people know. It should not be avoided because it's not labeled as 'correct' behavior, and I refuse not to use it as a fairly decent plot line because it's a controversial topic. Enjoy.**

_"Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or says it."_ - Malcom X

He found Emma near her locker and cheered to himself before gaining his composure and tapping on her shoulder. This was the first time they saw each other since the party and Emma's look of surprise was not only accepted but expected. Will's hands were behind his body and he wore a boyish smirk as he balanced back and forth on the balls of his feet. His mannerisms were enough to flush her anxiety down the hallway and she smiled.

"Hello." She took a deep breath, calmed completely by him. "What is that behind your back?" Emma's smirk only grew as she tickled his stomach and peeked around his side while he writhed.

"Emma, Emma," Will tried to protest without revealing what he held behind his back. He bent his head down, effectively stopping her actions. "I have to ask you something..."

"Yes?" Emma stood on her toes to be closer to eye level with him, her eyes were full of hope and excitement.

"I was wondering..." He dropped his head as he wandered off and she returned his eyes to hers by tilting his head upwards. "If you would like to be my valentine.." He pulled a bouquet of flowers from behind his back and Emma noted all her favorite colors. She looked at him, surprised and took a deep breath, tilting her head downwards and playing with the crisp hem of his button up before looking at him and smiling. She didn't give him an answer with words, but her sudden and sweet kiss was enough for him. She took the flowers, smelled them and smiled. She took his hand and shut her locker before walking down the hallway with him.

His red shoes were as torn as his heart as he watched them kick flowers from his path. His shoes matched the color of the shirt he was unbuttoning, revealing a pink undershirt. His outfit was quite obviously a homage to St. Valentine, yet worn in vain. Tyler, a senior football player, (_wasn't that the one she kissed at the party?)_ walked around with Emma on his arm, smiling and making her giggle.

When Will saw them he ran to the bathroom, suddenly feeling sick. He emptied his backpack off all the things he bought for Emma and hung his head in his hands. He walked over to the sink and splashed water in his face and composed himself. This was the first time he saw her since the party, and to see her as happy as she was pained him; even though he wanted nothing but her happiness.

Eric noticed his depleated mood and offered to hang out after school. He seemed genuienly concered for his friend's wellfare, and Will thought maybe Eric was around for the long run. Will put his backpack down in his room and played with Sophie before walking the needed blocks to Eric's house.

He greeted his friend, and brought him to his backyard, where a tree house sat in a tall oak. They climbed the ladder and Will saw something new. Eric called it a 'bong' and showed Will how to use it.

A half hour later, Will was laying against a pillow in the tree house and tried to get up to eat a cookie but lost his balance and fell backwards. Eric started giggling, still hovering over the bong. "Dude, like you totally like…" He started giggling again and leaned his head back so it hit the wall of the treehouse. Will's head felt colorful and empty, but he felt so clean. His mind finally stopped reeling about the things that happened and the things that led up to it. "Brah, you look calm."

"Calm feel." He realized how messed up his words were and cussed, throwing his palm to his face and gripping the pillow underneath him and he turned on his stomach.

"Talk about it?" Eric passed him the bong and gazed at him expectantly with bloodshot eyes.

"Can't talk." Will mumbled before banging the back of his head against the wall and accepting Eric's offering.

"Yeah hun." He slid down and lay on his back, resting his hands on his stomach. "Slow."

"She hurt me." Will's eyes welt up and got large. He rubbed his face with his hands until his face was red.

"Who?" Eric asked, sitting up straighter and turning to his friend.

"Emma." The smoke came up from the bong, reminding him of when he first smoked. At the party, when he kissed Emma randomly. They weren't dating at the time, but they kissed at the school dance a week before the party. Somehow, everything came back to that damn party. _Fuck._ Will couldn't even pin point what was wrong with them, but he boiled that down to being high. Seeing the smoke curl into the air of the tree house reminded him of her scent. The flowery, summery smell that with an overdose would give someone a headache. But she never overdid it. She knew exactly how much was needed. He liked that about her. She was experienced and he, as a severely inexperienced teenager, felt like he needed someone higher than him to guide him through his teens. He was still a confused boy despite all that happened.

He started sobbing, letting go of everything he had pent up since their fight. He tried to talk, to tell Eric it wasn't the weed, it was the course of life that had him sobbing. He moved around awkwardly, trying not to show his friend his weakness, and covered his face in his hands as he faced the corner of the tree house as if he was a two year old who got in trouble.

"Bro?" Eric got up to check on Will and tilted as he stood up rapidly and fell to the floor, landing on his butt. "Dude, come on." Eventually he stopped trying, and just let his friend sob in peace. Will and Eric spent the night in the tree house, silent for the most part, but it wasn't awkward. Eric brought a small speaker and hooked his iPod to it and played soft jams for the rest of the day and night. Will had the same taste in muisc and the choices Eric made actually calmed Will down from his emotional breakdown enough to feel comfortable falling asleep.

How he woke up, he would assume it was what a hangover felt like, but he didn't know for sure because he refused to drink. "Eric?" He kicked his friend lightly on the side of his stomach and he awoke with a start, looking around for confirmation of where he was before calming down. He sat up and stared at the ground, running a hand through his hair as his brain began to process events.

"Dude…We have school today." He took a sip of the water bottle from the box he brought up last night when Will said he wasn't going home. Running another hand through his hair, he got up slowly and started hiding what they did yesterday afternoon. Will sat where he slept, in a daze.

"Shit." The cuss word escasped his lips, Eric turned to look at him for a moment, and he sat Indian style on the floor until his friend brought him clothes to wear.

Will brushed his teeth, washed his face and sprayed a massive amount of cologne (not having enough time to shower), at Eric's house, and wore his sunglasses and a hat just in case. "Come on, man. You got this. It's Friday too." Will's eyes lit up slightly as Eric told him this, but he didn't move from his place in the passenger seat.

He felt totally disconntected from the world as he walked around aimlessly with Eric and Rebecca, the third wheel, but he was so out of it they barely noticed him. He was almost a ghost until they went outside again, near the vending machines and the tables that no one sat at. A big football player stood between the machine and if he wasn't so used to looking for red hair Will was sure he wouldn't have noticed Emma behind him, being pushed into the wall. The words he heard sounded like gibberish or white noise but Emma sounded scared and the football player sounded demanding and upset. Will's fists clenched by his sides and though Eric tried to stop him, he was already gone.

"Tyler, please you're hurting me." Emma pleaded with the large senior, feeling extremely small and scared because he was so much bigger than she was and could crush her if he breathed on her too strong.

"Shut the hell up and fuck me." The hand that already held her wrists got tighter and he ran his other hand up her thigh and in her skirt.

"I'm not that person anymore!" She wondered why no one was coming to her rescue. Why no one stopped to see why a young woman was screaming, but walked right past her. She started to cry. "Please…"

Suddenly Tyler fell to his knees and screamed in pain. His hands dropped from her wrists and he hung his head between his knees. A foot kicked the middle of his back and made him shoot upwards. He turned around and stood up, ready to fight. Will punched his jaw, and Rebecca moved Emma from in between the vending machines and out of the line of fire. Tyler threw Will against the vending machine, but gratefully not the corner. He punched Will under his eye, and on his collarbone then moving to his ribs.

Will punched his nose, hearing a snap as Tyler's nose broke. He put Tyler in a head lock, slamming his head into the vending machine behind them until Tyler wrapped his arms around Will's arms and made them walk from the small space of the vending machines. Tyler released himself and punched the side of his jawline. Will stumbled back slightly and punch his eye. "Do you not understand the word no, you fucking ape?" Will asked rhetorically, authenticating words with punches to his stomach and kicks to his legs. Eric didn't try to stop him, not wanting to get accidentally punched, and knowing neither would stop.

An administrator broke up the fight when someone ran to the Deans office and told them. Will was dragged away kicking and screaming by an on campus police and suspended from school for two weeks, never noticing the way Emma watched him in awe. She wanted nothing more than to run to his house and capture him in a hug, kiss him and run her fingers through his hair, tend to his wounds. She knew that was too far out of line.


	8. Y2

**A/N: So there's gonna be some changes. I will be posting Parachutes, the sequel to X&Y which has been renamed 'The Way I Was' (The sequel has). More so, there will be 'in between' chapters highlighting the important events that happen in the ten years between X&Y and Way I Was to release an ominous feeling that could get aggravating and annoying after a bit. Those will be posted Monday, Thursday and Saturday for two weeks. They will be called B-Sides. I hope you see what I did there. There are 6 chapters to B-Sides. Way I Was will have 12 or 10. Enjoy this week's chapter! **

_"Inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that's where you renew your springs that never dry up." - Pearl S. Buck_

"You got in another fight?" Donna paced around the kitchen, a bottle of wine in her hand, occasionally chugging a sip. "What am I going to do with you?" She seemed concerned for him and though he knew she wasn't, it was at least a little bit refreshing to see that emotion in someone's eyes who wasn't the teenage girl who broke his heart.

"He was going to rape Emma. I stood up for my friend." His voice was surprisingly calm despite the situation.

"She can stand up for herself." Her harsh words almost pushed Will over the edge quickly.

"He was four times bigger than her! She had no chance of that!" He started yelling, so upset with the situation and how it came about.

"You're the same size as her so he was four times bigger than you, too? If she walked off a bridge would you follow?"

"What does that have to do with anything!?"

"Stop yelling at me!" Donna screamed helplessly, and smacked Will across the face.

Will stood in shock, looking at the crazed desperation in his Aunt's eyes. He felt as if he was a boy again, and his dad came home drunk and was looking over his math homework. He would stumble upon a problem that bothered his brain to look at and think it was wrong. "This wrong, boy!" A smack to his face. "Can't you do anything right?" His words cut through Will like a flaming sword and he held back tears as his father went upstairs, most likely to fall asleep in the bath tub, or beat his mother. He wanted to talk to her so bad, but he never got the chance. She was working by the time he woke up, and was asleep when he got home from school.

Will's jaw tightened, and he visualized what would happen if he punched her. She would drunkenly fight back, he and Sophie would have to go into a foster home where they would be separated. That thought, that terrible, terrible vision, stopped Will from punching his Aunt and reduced him to clenching his fists. "Stop drinking and maybe I won't have to!" Will took the wine bottle from his Aunt's hand and smashed it against the table, sending glass and alcohol on the cabinets and the floor. He walked away to get Sophie from her room and bring her where ever he was going. He would be crazy to leave her with his Aunt.

"Come on, Soph. Lets see a movie or something." She gratefully obligated, picking up her dolly and her blankie to come along as well. "What do you want to see?"

She pondered for a long moment as they drove to the movie theater and when she shouted out her choice, Will jumped in his seat. "Wreck It Ralph!"

After the movie, it was still too early to go home. "Come on Sophie, lets go somewhere else. Any suggestions sweet pea?" He ruffled her hair as he strapped her into her seat. He kissed her nose sweetly. He felt like a parent as he walked to the driver's seat.

"Will you take me to Chuck E Cheese, Princess?" Her tongue still could not pronounce most things she wanted to say. The nickname she gave him due to his submissiveness came out sounding more like 'Pwensece'.

"Of course." He spent a unknown amount of money on coins for them, and picked her up, carrying her to the games. "Hey Soph, do you know how to play basketball?"

"Baskwetball?" Sophie asked, confused, her words coming out in jumbles again.

"Yeah honey, basketball." He lifted her by just under her armpits so she could begin to reach the game. He let her stand on the part of the game that stuck out and showed the score. He held her waist and she leaned against his chest as he handed her the basketballs and assisted her in making them in.

"You're good at this." Sophie giggled as the game ended and she jumped up and down. "Let's play again!"

"What do you mean? I'm not playing...You are!" He put another coin in and started helping her again. "See sweet pea? You're playing!"

He found a game section in the back in which they could win stuffed animals. There was a deep row of stuffed animals hanging from a string. Will kneeled down to be below eye level with his sister. "Which one do you want, Soph?" She cupped her chin in the space between her thumb and forefinger as she gazed at the row. She took a long time deciding before pointing at one in the middle. "The pink giraffe?"

"No Will! The pink elephant!" She covered her face in shame for her brother and peeked through her fingers at him. "Are you gonna win it?"

"Yes. I am." Will kissed her forehead before he got up and started throwing plastic balls at a moving target. _Thank God for baseball_, Will thought in his head just before he hit the bullseye. Lights and alarms went off, and Sophie went crazy.

"You did it Will! You did it!" She jumped onto his leg and he picked her up as he told the person behind the counter what stuffed animal he wanted. Will gave the prize to Soph and she hugged it tightly. "Thank you Will! I love you!" She wrapped her arms around Will's neck and pulled him as close as she could. She hid her head in his neck and gripped his curls. He won her a few others before bringing her back to the main area to play some more games.

Will left Sophie's sleeping body in the backseat of his car that he parked in the garage to judge the situation in the house. The door was locked, and his key wouldn't fit. Did she change the lock? He thought maybe the back door and the front door were different, but he didn't want to find out. His thought contradicted his previous one, by freaking out about where he was going to stay for the night. He didn't have enough money for a hotel, unless it was a crappy motel which he wouldn't submit Sophie to.

He could crash at Eric's, but he didn't want to overstay the welcome he had the night before last, especially with his three year old sister with him this time. The only other option, besides his car, was Emma. He hated to do it, but in his mind, he had no choice.

He knocked on the door and Emma answered in seven minutes, probably trying to decide how to react. She had sweatpants and a band tee she took from his house when she was over a while ago. In fact, those might be his sweatpants too. His eyes started to well up, for a reason he didn't know, and he looked at the ground. "Um...I think Donna kicked me out. At least for tonight." He knew she understood where he was going, but he felt the need to save his ego. "I would just sleep in my car but...Sophie is with me." He started to ramble and stare at her clothes. "I know it's out of line but I don't have enough money for a hotel room and I just, I want the best for Sophie so if you could-"

She reached out and took his hand softly. "Hey, hey. I understand. Of course you can crash here. Come on."

He looked as if the weight of the world had been lifted off his shoulders and maybe in a way, it was. Sophie was now his world. "Okay, great. Thanks so much, Emma." Out of instinct, he leaned in and kissed her cheek. "I have to get Soph. She's sleeping in the back seat." While walking to his car, he felt happy. He felt better than he had in weeks, months even. He knew it was because he was on good terms with Emma again, but he refused to make himself seem that dependent, even if he knew he was deep down.

Will carried Sophie into Emma's room and stood awkwardly. "Sophie can sleep in my bed." Emma said over her shoulder as she removed the blankets and pillows from the bed.

"Where will you sleep?" He asked her nervously, still standing in her doorway.

"I have two mattresses." She answered quickly and without emotion as she pulled the top mattress off her bed and onto the floor. She looked at Will expectantly and walked towards him. She took Sophie from his arms lovingly, placed her in bed and tucked her in tightly. Emma kissed her head and turned to Will who still stood in her doorway staring at something in the distance. "Do you want to talk?" She sat on the mattress on the floor, waiting for him to join her but not being surprised when he didn't.

"About what?" He finally moved. Closer to her, but not sitting next to her like she wanted him.

"Anything." At that moment they both knew she was talking about his fight with Tyler but they didn't dare bring it up.

"No." His voice broke and he cleared his throat. "I just want to sleep." He slipped his jeans off and threw his sweater on top of them.

"Okay." Emma submissively agreed, not willing to put up a fight. She flipped the extra blanket over her and threw it to Will. Getting comfortable on the pillow, she turned to him and smiled. "Good night, Will."

Will woke up slowly, letting his eyes adjust to the light from the windows in Emma's bedroom. He picked up his head and saw Sophie still sleeping on Emma's bed. He breathed a sigh of relief and let his head fall back onto the mattress. He inhaled deeply, feeling relaxed and at peace. Her scent filled his nose and panic filled his lungs. His heart beat rapidly against his chest and his brain pounded against his right temple. He realized then that his arms wrapped around her torso, and pulled her chest and core to his. He felt like he should pull away, to scoot as far away from her as he could. But he couldn't. It felt so right to hold her as close to him as he could and he sighed contendly despite the panic that still coursed through his veins. He looked at her sleeping form, her face controted in a way that was not attractive, but to him it was adorable. In a moment of weakness he leaned forward and captured her lips with his before he could stop himself. Extremely grateful she didn't wake up, he sighed at what she would never know happened between them and fell asleep.

He heard female voices speaking lowly when he woke up and rubbed his face before turning over to face them. He lost grip of Emma during the early morning hours and was glad he didn't have to explain why his face was inches away from hers. "Sophie?" She fell on his stomach when he turned around, previously being propped on his back.

"I had a nightmare." She crawled over his stomach so she was on the other side of his and snuggled close to his warmth. "Em said you would cuddle me since you're my princess. She also said you were a good cuddler. Are you her girlfriend?"

His eyes widened and he looked at her, a scared look on his face. Did she know? Was she awake when he was? He tried to formulate words but nothing came out, and Emma just smirked at him. He dropped his gaze from Emma to his sister. "You mean is she _my_ girlfriend." He glanced at Emma again to gauge her reaction. "And no…she's not." Her face showed a small flicker of guilt and sadness because she knew it could be true, but she covered it up quickly and smiled.

After a quick breakfast (her mother was a late riser) Will and Emma stood at the doorway again on a perfect Sunday morning. The clouds were overcast and dark, but they did not rid the sun and added a nice view when one chose to look at the sky. The weather wasn't too hot or cold, but not just right either. A chilly breeze ocassionally blew, making the women tighten their jackets and the men appreciate nature. Sophie chased a butterfly across Emma's mother's lawn before finding and almost stepping on a grasshopper. She started crawling across the grass and Emma giggled, looking over Will's shoulder. He turned around and laughed as well. "Sweet pea, don't ruin your dress!" Her head whipped around to his voice and she showed him a thumbs up.

"You'll make a really great Dad someday." The words slipped out of Emma's mouth as purely a thought she wanted to say under her breath but became much louder.

He leaned against the side of the door as he watched Sophie and answered without looking at her. "Thanks." The blush on his face was obvious. "I think after all the silly entertainment stuff, that's all I really want. You know?" He turned to her completely, blocking off her vision of avoidance and forcing her to engage. "To be wanted, needed. To know that I can be independent and be just fine."

"I understand." She bit her tongue to stop from saying what she wanted to because she was too sleepy to have that kind of argument with him and Sophie would only be entranced by her Mother's yard for so long. "I guess I'll see you at school." She hung her head and held the door knob, ready to close it and possibly cry for a reason she could not figure out.

"Yeah." He sighed and put his hand on the door as if to stop her from closing it. "Thanks for letting us crash here. It really means a lot."

"Anytime Will." She spoke impatiently and tapped her foot. Her unexpressive eyes held twenty expressions as he tilted her chin upwards and laid his lips on hers for _one, two, three_ seconds. He didn't say anything, barely even looked at her as he walked away and picked up Sophie from behind.


	9. Y3

**A/N: (Possibly) Triggering for those with a self harm past. And even for those who are depressed and think about it/hear about it a lot. Please do not take a chance. There's nothing wrong with skipping this chapter. I'll put a 'last time in' at the beginning of the next chapter. I could not live with myself if it was triggering to someone and they read it anyway. So please, if you know you can't handle it (that is not weak at all, that is STRONG (and also another rant) please skip. Thank you and I love you. **

_"You're like the net under the edge. When I go flying off the edge, you go flying off as well."_- Ryan Tedder

Will wanted to start talking to Emma again but it was nearing the end of the year and he had no time. He had final exams for every class, even Broadcast Journalism, and he couldn't afford to fail. Not to mention choosing classes for his senior year and getting his ass chewed out by guidance, coaches, and teachers about AP classes and going for a sport scholarship then going pro. _And_ taking countless performance tests for college admissions. He was never the best test taker, and all these school releated stresses carrying over to his home life had restricted him from going out on most days; only ocassionally going to Eric's to get high when stress became too much.

Now it was spring break and Will didn't have to think about school for a delicious ten days. He knew how much Emma loved the beach, and though New York didn't have much to offer, his Aunt's high paying job provided a pool in the backyard. He set up lawn chairs and made lemonade and sandwiches. Sophie made cookies with him and he wrapped them in tin foil to conseve heat. He had Emma's _'staying with parent'_ schedule memorized and drove to her Dad's house.

Her Dad opened the door with a painfully unamused look on his face. Knowing the surface of his daughter's repuation and how often Will came over he grew not to like Will that much based on pure assumption but never said anything, to Will at least. Will's posture straightened and he cleared his throat. "Midmorning to you Mr. Pillsbury! Fantastic day isn't it?" He nodded and glanced to the cloudless sky. "See the Mets game yesterday? They got a wooping! God bless those Texans, right sir?" Will knew from various conversations that Emma told her father about Will's 'fascination' with sports, and that her father hated the Mets with a burning passion. Will used the common liking of baseball to break the ice and make polite small talk.

"Damn Mets." Mr. Pillsbury smiled and Will laughed. "They don't know when to stop." He patted Will's shoulder and brought him inside. "Cookies for Emma, I assume?"

"Yes sir, but you are not restricted from having them." Will smiled and turned to the older man.

"I think I have to lay off the cookies anyway." He patted his stomach and slapped Will's back. "Emma's in her room. I'll see ya 'round kid."

"You too sir." Will adjusted his cap in the man's direction respectfully and climbed the stairs to the second story. Emma's bedroom door looked as if it was decorated by a six year old, but Will knew it was. Emma didn't like her father's house since he got remarried, so she never redecorated. Her stepmom walked around in a robe that was half open, revealing lingerie. Will surpised himself by being offended by this as well. He prefered a breezy sundress for a small gathering of friends or sweats for a day in. He liked mystery. If he was married, only he should be seeing the sacred parts of his wife.

Distracted by his thoughts he walked into her room and she turned around quickly, suprised by her carelessness to not lock the door. "Emma, what-" He realized not to say anymore and put his cookies on the dresser, coming to comfort her immediately. He took the scissors from the tight grip of her shaky fingers and threw them in the trash can from his spot on her bed. She began sobbing and he pulled her into his arms automatically. "Oh honey…Oh sweetie," He mumbled things as such in her hair while he ran his hands across her back, ocassionally kissing her hair. "Hey," He picked her head up and looked deep into her sad green orbs. "Where are your bandaids?" She pointed to the bathroom and he kissed her forehead before scampering off.

He slowly wrapped her wrists in a gauze bandaid he found and kissed them softly. While he was squating near her knees where her wrists lay, his swimming shorts rose up a significant amount. What she saw was what she believed would be on her wrists in a few weeks. Scars.

She ran her finger over them gently and he shied away. He brought her into his lap hopeful to stop her from questioning the bad choices he made years ago. His tactics didn't work because however suprisingly comfortable his lap was, they were always there for each other and she wasn't going to let him close the door on her.

"What happened?" She snuck her hand between them and ran her fingers across the scars lightly.

"Emma, I don't want-" His protests were stopped when her lips fell to his neck and placed feather light kisses across it, pulling him closer by the nape of his neck. Will gulped. This was the first time her lips touched his skin since the night he and Sophie slept over. He felt like he couldn't breathe, his heart pumped against his rib cage, like it would jump right out of his chest.

"Please?" Her voice was so pleading and sweet, he had no choice but to give in.

"Okay." He sighed deeply and laughed at what he thought wasn't severe and what he believed she would say. "My parents passed, I just found out I would be living with Donna. My grades plummeted, getting me kicked off the baseball team. No other sport was in season, but I couldn't get on the team with my grades being shit anyway." He looked at her to clarify if she was judging him already, feeling strangely as if she wasn't one of the two friends he had. "I had no place to get out my anger besides playing by myself but that wasn't fun because I didn't have anyone to go against."

Will took in another shaky breath when Emma's hand moved up his swimming trunks and he took hold of her arms. "I, um, I was at an all time low, but I wasn't going to-" Her hand picked at the hem of his shirt. Though her giggle was out of place, it was accepted as was her removal of his shirt. "-cut my wrists because that was too obvious."

She bit his neck lovingly and snuggled into his side. "I'm so sorry." She whispered into the silence as her eyes fell on the different set of scars she saw the first time she went to his house. Emma ran her hand over the scar delicately, as if it still hurt. It extended from the top of his thigh through the dip in his hip and up his abdomen just a bit before stopping. "Is this...?" Emma was still at the peak of shock as to why someone would do this to sweet Will.

He nodded and said calmly, "Yes." Emma's hands snaked around his neck and she straddled his hips as she gazed at him lovingly for moments that seemed to strech out forever. Her heart beat against her chest, but not with nervousness as Will's did; her's beat with overpowering love. Her eyes shut and she went with her instincts, touching her lips with his. After testing to see if he would allow this contact she moved her mouth with his and while his opened she slipped her tongue through his lips and touched his with her own. He visibly pulled back, pushing his head further into the pillow but not breaking the kiss, only testing her more with his tongue touching hers.

His hands ran over her back and under her shirt, feeling the warmth that radiated from the body he loved so much. Her legs tangled with his and he wouldn't mind if they were in a glass case for everyone to view because he felt so right. For the first time in his life, he felt like he found where he belonged. He flipped them over and giggled at her look of shock as she giggled at his actions. The smile on his face was priceless and would have been a perfect picture to keep a reminder of him if he was ever sad or if they ever seperated.

He kissed her desperately and she genuinely felt bad for him because she knew everytime he put his heart on the line, something went wrong. Her eyes welt up and though she tried not to cry she felt another onslaught of tears and ended the kiss softly. "I'm-I'm sorry." She pulled him into her side and he held her as she sobbed again. He refrained from asking her what the matter was. He could not see her try so hard to speak but only come out with muffled and jumbled sobs without crying himself.

She finally stopped crying to Will's liking and she spoke first. "So much for being 'just friends'." Emma repeated his words from so many months ago with a laugh, noting that he seemed suprised she remembered.

"Shut up and kiss me." His words sounded harsh but his meaning was sweet and he wore an adoring look as he pulled her to him and kissed her lovingly.

The last two months of school were a blur, even as they were happening. Will knew he would remember one thing that stood out among the rest of the crazy and desperate things he did during his junior year. He met, fell in love with, and started dating Emma Pillsbury. In that exact order, he thought with a laugh as he, Emma and Eric drove to some place unkown to celebrate the end of another school year.


	10. Y4

**A/N: For those who need a recap; last chapter Will stopped Emma from cutting any further which procceded in her finding his scars; both where he cut and where his father hit him. She kissed him and they ****_finally_**** started dating.**

_"I think the idea is that every person has to live for his or her own life and then make the choice to share it with other people. Maybe that is what makes people "participate."_ - Stephen Chbosky

The chorus of Will's summers prior to the first he spent with Emma was limited to loud crickets and the air conditioner. Those two summers he spent with her near him at all times, were some of the most important months of his life and he wouldn't trade them for the world.

"Will, you have to rest." Emma pushed him on his bed, straighting her clothes as she lay next to him. She blushed indefinitely as she noticed her bra across the room on the floor next to his computer desk.

"But I need you…" He whined in her neck as he tried to pull him on her again. "Sweetie," He pushed his erection into her side and pulled her closer. Since the first time they met, he learned a lot about sexual actions. Yet still a virgin. He said he was waiting for the right person and all though it was overly prideful of her to think she _was_ the right one, it was not a false thought.

"Honey, you _need_ to rest." She faced him and cupped his jaw upon seeing his bottom lip stuck out in protest. "You have me. I'm not going anywhere." She reached up to wipe sweat from his forehead and ran her hand his curls, knowing how the action soothed him. She sang his favorite slow songs in a perfect low timbre, also aware of his difficultly falling asleep due to his flu. He closed his eyes, desperate for rest, yet staying up just to hear her sing.

He shot up quickly as soon as he woke up, and threw the blankets off his bed. Emma woke up hastily and tightened her arm around him, knowing his recent urges to go outside. He fought her grip but he was too weakened for any resolve to come about. He knew so but still fought against her, possibly delirious from his 102.8 fever.

"Emma, I'm going to skinny dip in the fucking river." He told her with determination that could only be matched to those who changed the world. He lifted his arms to relive the sweat that built up in his armpit.

"No you're not." She argued calmly and sleepily, not realizing how much she loved sleeping with him. She yawned and lay down, trying to bring him with her.

"Try and stop me." He turned to her as he ripped off all his clothes, spare his boxers. Filled with rage at the sweat that filled every crease of his body and the heat that coursed in him yet still making him sensitive to touch and extremely jumpy with a coldness that could not be rid of. "Em, I'm so hot I don't know what to do."

"Take a shower and refresh your palate." She requested it so simply, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

The tone of his voice immediately changed; now desperate and longing. "Come with me?" He lay down snuggled under the blanket with her against him and peered at her with hopeful eyes. They never saw each other naked.

"Um…Are you sure?" She was never nervous about being naked with a boy. This wasn't just a boy. This was Will. Sweet precious lovingly _virgin_ Will.

"Yes." His voice broke but he went on as if it didn't. "I need you near me. I would never step from under the shower head if you don't pull me. Please." He once again looked at her pleadingly yet it was obvious he had no energy left in his body and she dragged him to the bathroom.

She undressed quickly, only stopping to thank God her mother took her to a spa as a 'gift' for the beginning of the summer. Her heart went out to Will as she saw his face scrunch uncomfortably when he pulled his boxers down his legs and the fabric seemed to cut along his skin as if he had double sided rose thorns in every pore of his legs.

Her mother told her lukewarm water was good for treating fevers because it helps balance the body being hot but cold at the same time, so she set the water to lukewarm. She smiled shyly at him and took his hand, dragging him under the water. She placed him directly under the spray and took the moment to soak his presence in. She knew his torso like the back of her hand, every freckle, birthmark, and the creases of his abs but it was very obvious he wasn't eating a lot as his ribs stuck out more than they already did and his stomach retracted. Following his v-line downward she almost felt her heart race before reminding herself she saw plenty of 'equipment' for Will's not to be a suprise but it still was. Having fucked many people before she became accustomed to what she knew she liked, Will was literally perfect.

She would've given him a blowjob or a handjob or even taken his virginity just then if he wanted her to. Glancing at his face she knew he wouldn't want her to at this moment, because of how crappy he felt. And then she believed she understood the meaning of true love. Waiting for something you both want that is right under your nose until both parties were ready. And she would wait for him however longer he needed. She would do whatever he wanted her to.

Emma Pillsbury was truly, deeply, one hundred percent, head over heals, in love.

"Thank you." Will said as she put his clothes on and kissed his cheek.

"Of course darling." She breathed deeply and pulled him closer, her bare nipples grazing his as he leaned down to hide his head in her neck. She shivered from their closeness and her eyes welt up as she remembered the realization she came to in the shower.

He brought her back to his room and entrapped her in his arms. He began placing a hickey in the center of her neck, lightly tickling her side as he did so. "Will," She giggled and hung her head, looking at his hands on her waist. "Sweetie I have to put clothes on." Emma scooted away since he was so warm.

"What if I take mine off?" He tried to negotiate with her, desperate just to be with her.

"What if Sophie came in?" She said, full of concern because she would do anything he wanted her to.

"She's at a friends house for the weekend. Remember?" He pulled her closer and smiled at the reminder of the heavy petting they did after dropping his sister off a day before he got sick. "And even if she was here, she thinks I have cooties." Emma brushed his chest hair and peered at him with a wicked smile.

"And Donna?"

"She's getting hammered in Texas." He took a deep breath and ran his hands across her sides. "Something about a big gambling convention. She'll be back in two weeks. She left this morning." Emma slept over since they came back from the trip to Coney Island at the beginning of the summer.

"Well, I guess I don't have to put clothes on then..." She smiled wickedly again and he cheered. "But you need to keep yours on." He whinned lowly and turned over. "Honey, listen to me." She climbed over him and picked up his face. "My mom is a doctor…I know what to do for you, but I can't help you if you don't listen okay?" He nodded and hugged the stuffed animal she brought him to his chest tightly.

"Now sweetheart," Her hand slipped down his face before twirling a curl around her finger and kissing the underside of his jaw. "You have to keep your clothes on and under the blankets to regulate your temperate as much as we can. I know you'll wake up in hot sweats and you can kick the blankets off then, but not for too long. And look honey, I will be here with you long after you feel better but until then I can cool you off with a wet rag and we'll take as many showers as you need." She kissed him gently as he nodded and he snuggled her under his arm.


	11. Y5

_"Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple." - Dr. Suess_

Senior year passed by in an even quicker blur than the previous school year. What with college and exams, Will felt very anxious over the course of it. He and Emma hoped it would go away when the graduated. Their relationship went strong. They rarely fought and they were always very mature. They both took care of Sophie as she turned 5 in the spring. They were almost like parents.

Emma groaned as they flipped over each other in the family bathroom of some news building they were supposed to be looking at for internships as a class trip. Will fatefully pushed Emma's legs from around his waist to lock the door as quickly as he could. Turning around he was greeted with the sight of his beautiful girlfriend breathing heavily for him.

"Come here." She beckoned and he obeyed as he always would. He took her waist in one hand and hip in the other and leaned down to adore her neck. He was tall, shadowing over her but seemed so small when she held him in her arms. She pulled him closer by the collar of his dress shirt, ruining the ironing he did, naked, that morning.

Her nails stung his ass as she wrapped her legs around him again. Her grip loosened around his collar as she threaded her fingers through his curls and forcefully brought his lips to hers.

"I'm so in love with you." He whispered as he tangled his fingers through her curly hair, not caring if they would look like they just fucked when they left the bathroom. The confession was not a new one. A year and almost six months together, Emma stayed over so many times she practically moved in, and their short but emotion packed history provoked the confession earlier on than in most relationships.

"I love you more." Her challenge was not new either. She loved to get him hot and bothered.

"Oh, please." He scoffed and rolled his eyes playfully but also serious. He returned to her lips and tangled his tongue with hers; letting out a loud groan.

"Darling..." The term of endearment was spoken with a condescending tone as Emma's head fell back. Getting caught would result in suspension from school, getting kicked out of the journalism club, and never having a shot of working at this extremely creditable newsroom. Despite all they had to lose, they couldn't stay away from each other. He loved journalism and he knew she did too. But they were only horny teenagers and they didn't care.

"Sorry Honey." His eyes were truly apologetic and she kissed him quickly before throwing her head back again, begging for his lips on her neck and his hands on her body. He followed her silent command and sucked on her collarbone, revealing a purple mark when he came up for air. She shivered and pulled him closer again, feeling him so aroused against her core.

There was a knock on the door and they froze. Will quickly thought of a response and managed to sound like he wasn't getting dry humped by his incredibly gorgeous girlfriend. "Occupied." He offered another tidbit to save their life. "Those sandwiches they have are bad luck." He put emphasis on the last two words, and sighed as the footsteps walked away.

Mr. Green looked around the classroom with an excited appearance. It seemed as if he wanted to say something, but he was holding it back for a strange reason. "What was the best part of the trip?" He eventually called Will to answer. Emma blushed and looked at their knees touching, biting her lip as she thanked the heavens she wasn't called on. He was much quicker on his feet than she.

"The bathrooms are nice." Will answered with a smirk, pulling Emma closer to him. She hung her head and blushed, holding back a snicker.

x

Sophie jumped on Will's bed with enthusiasm and crossed her legs, determined. "Em," She said to get Emma's attention, which she gave to the young girl across from her. "Can I sit in your lap?" Sophie loved sitting in people's laps. She said it made her feel like she had a mother. It took her a while to get comfortable and even longer to speak. "How do you know when you're in love?" Sophie whispered the question as if she was ashamed of it, like it was a secret.

Will was in the bathroom taking a shower and Emma figured that's why Soph chose now to ask her. She didn't want to ask her brother. Emma knew why; Will would ask who he was, how long they've known each other, what they do together, and Sophie doesn't want that. She just wants an answer.

"When you think about that person all the time, you can't get them out of your head. When you miss them even though you just saw them. You love everything about them, even the things they don't like about themselves. _Especially_ the things they don't like about themselves. When you want nothing but them." Emma smiled as she thought she had this with Will. "Why are you asking?"

Sophie looked around nervously, checking to see if Will was still in the bathroom. "Well, I don't know. This boy gives me his animal crackers everyday. They're really good. I wore a dress, and he said I looked pretty."

"Well sweetheart," Emma brushed her hair with her fingers, loving how soft it was. "I think you have to keep being yourself because that's the person you're meant to be."

Sophie sighed and her shoulders fell, ushering in a period of silence. Emma wondered what was taking Will so long. Usually he would've been out by now. "Yeah," Sophie said after a while and straightened her back. "I guess I know what you mean." They were quiet for a while longer, both enwrapped in thoughts. "Do you love Princess?"

Emma smiled at the girl's nickname for her older brother and bit her lip as she thought. However, no thought was needed since she already knew she would be over the moon to spend the rest of her life with Will. "Very much, buttercup." Emma popped the matching letters in her words, liking how that added a bit of a southern twang to them. She kissed Sophie's head and sent her out of the room when Will walked in with just a wash cloth around his crotch and walked straight back. Emma giggled and covered her mouth at Will's blush and the way he peeked through the door to make sure it was safe.

x

Will's 18th birthday was one to remember, as one may think all coming of age birthdays are. Will's birthday was more special than one might think because of the box his Aunt gave him. He was shocked when she wordlessly handed him a wooden, aged box and walked into the house to make lemonade for Sophie.

"What is it?" Eric asked, getting up too quickly and almost falling forward.

"I don't know." Will said, staring at the box. Emma's hand snaked around his shoulder and her nails ran down his bicep and back. She knew that always relaxed him, and he turned to smile at her. She smiled tentatively back, knowing the relationship between Will and his Aunt and what a significance this box must hold.

"Open it, Sweetie." Emma peered over his arm, anxious and excited for what he would find. He took a deep breath, releasing it when he felt Emma's lips on his shoulder and pulled off the top. The first thing he found inside was a ring with a piece of paper weaved through it, a tag number _'47192'._ His breath caught in his throat and he picked it up in awe, looking at it as if he couldn't believe it was real.

"This was my Grandmother's wedding ring. My mom kept it after she died to give to me or a daughter, if she had one." His eyes welled up at the memories his mother told him when he was small. "My grandparents had the perfect marriage." Emma's hand flew to her mouth and she gasped, knowing Will's past of marriages he witnessed. He moved to the chaise lounge chair behind him and pulled Emma into his lap. Eric's attention span ran out and he jumped in the pool fully dressed.

Under the ring was a police report saying they managed to rescue it from the crash and that it was in her will to leave it to him. Attached to it was the will, with parts highlighted. _$400,000 and a vacation home in Santa Monica, California left to Will Schuester; the sole beneficiary._ Will would find that much later, after Emma went to sleep and he couldn't. After that was a letter to Will written ages ago, obvious by the ageing the paper suffered. In his mother's neat cursive penmanship read,

_Willam,_

You're eighteen now, so I think you're old enough to hear this. Will, I'm sorry for your Dad. He's a nice man. When he's not drunk. I love you. You're the star of my life and I should have spent more time with you. I should have protected you and held you. I probably should have left your father. Be wise. Keep Sophie safe. Find a woman (or a man) that makes you happy. Fuck what anyone says and do what makes you happy. I love you.

- Mommy

Will started crying then, at her signature, and everything she wrote in the letter. Emma held him and let him sob into her collarbone, kissing him and whispering comforting things so he wouldn't go over the edge of the strange anxiety he felt since the beginning of the school year. She hoped he was just stressed about graduating but now the the graduation ceremony was only a few days from now, she was lost on what he could be feeling nervous about. He already got his acceptance letter to NYU whereas she hadn't yet. She should be the one feeling anxious. She didn't tell him that, he had enough to deal with. He knew she was nervous about it and that was all he had to know.

What he found after that made Emma jump in her seat on his lap and hide in the crook of his neck. A small gun lay in the box, with a post it note that read; "To protect against the government. Or provide food if the world goes mad." It wasn't signed, but Will knew it was from his dad. He chuckled as he looked down at the weapon. His father hated the government, always talking about conspiracy theories and "Damn liberals." This 'gift' was nothing out of the ordinary for his behavior.

That was it. Besides a few clothes he kept in the back of his closet, hidden from the world, that was all he had left of his parents.


	12. Y6

**A/N: First of all, this is the last chapter. It does not have a happy ending. The name of the sequel has changed from Parachutes to The Way I Was. There will be a short, six chapter story called B-Sides posted two weeks before Way I Was. That story will tell you, the reader, the critical events that happens in the ten years between X&Y and Way I Was. **

**Secondly, as a writer I feel it's my duty to inform you that I am going on writing hiatus. I do have some of B-Sides and Way I Was written, but it's pratically impossible for me to write anything at the moment. This has been the craziest, most stressful summer I've ever had and I in general find it quite hard to write during vacactions. I am trying to finish lit and I hope I can soon. The hiatus should end around mid-September. **

**Lastly, I'm dissapointed in the amount of reviews I've been getting lately. You guys have been the most impressive with that and I don't know what happened. With this being the last chapter (and quite a good one in my opinion) I hope to read lots of ya'll's thoughts. Enjoy. **

_"A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."_ - Albert Einstein

Emma leaned back on his bed with a sigh of relief and looked at him wonderingly. "So...We have the

_entire_

summer to ourselves." They were technically adults now and able to live on their own.

"Yes ma'am." He crawled toward her and hovered over her hips, taking her face into his hands. "And I'm going to make it the best of your life."

"It already is." She smiled at him and kissed him deeply. They kissed for a while, releasing some of the sexual tension created when she teased him at the graduation ceremony, and the pride that they both made it through high school. She fell asleep against him after they kissed and he allowed himself the same relief.

He woke up when his phone rang in the morning and he shut it off quickly so his sleeping girlfriend would not be awoken by his surprise. He slipped from her hold, kissing her cheek and walking to her mothers house in the early dawn of the day. Her mother knew about the plans he had and allowed him into her daughters room to pack what he knew she would need.

"Thanks Mrs. Pillsbury." Will kissed her cheek as they hugged and he slung a backpack of Emma's over his shoulder, dragging a suitcase behind him.

"I don't know how you manage to get more amazing every time I see you, but God bless you." She had tears in her eyes at her only daughter being treated so well by an attractive young man; her 'requirements' for whoever would be Emma's husband.

Will only smiled to stop from getting into a conversation he didn't want to have with his girlfriend's mom and said goodbye. He was happy to see Emma still sleeping when he got home, and wished he unboxed a nice camera he got from James earlier this year. He put her luggage near the door and started packing his own, sighing as he felt the back pain that became familiar to him over the past week. Sophie wanted to spend the summer at a camp in Washington DC and luckily James lived there. He of course went there first to make sure he was sober. What he found was positive, even a girlfriend whose name was Audrey, and hated drinking and drugs. He still told Audrey to send Sophie home if his brother even touched a bottle. Though they just met and he didn't fully trust her, he had too. At least he got good pictures of Emma in front of the monuments.

After packing their bags and displaying the plane tickets cleverly on top of their suitcases, he checked the time and stripped to his boxers to make her believe he never left. He could hardly contain his excitement as he climbed under the blankets next to her, engulfed her in his arms and began kissing across her neck and chest. He mumbled her name repeatedly as she woke up slowly.

"Hmm. Will," She drew out his name in the most gorgeous way possible as her eyes fluttered open as they had everyday that they slept together since the summer of last year when she practically moved in. "This is how we're going to wake up now?" She usually had to drag him out or lure him out with

_Pop Tarts_

. She threaded her fingers through his curls and tilted her head to give him full access. Sighing against his lips she felt his smirk and smacked his ass playfully. Being met with a thrust into her side surprised Emma and she gasped. Their relationship had not been consummated with sex yet, but with sexual favors and even so they, as their relationship in a whole, was inexperienced as such.

She was willing to take his virginity on his birthday, but he said he wanted something more than birthday sex. He wanted candles and roses. He wanted a nice dinner, a movie and dancing. He wanted to carry her to the bed and remove each other's clothing slowly. He didn't want a "quickie" in his bedroom before his small birthday party (also per his request). She understood. He was incredibly romantic, and it was one of the many things she loved about him.

"Will," After only God knows how long his lips kissed her neck, she noticed the luggage. "What is luggage doing in our room?" His heart skipped a beat when she said 'our' though she referred to his bedroom as theirs many times.

He lifted his head to look at the suitcases and shrugged. "Hmmm. I don't know." He returned to adoring her, though she got up and moved closer to inspect the strange objects that appeared. He rested his head on his arm as he watched her examine the paper she found on top of the suitcases.

"Oh my God." He couldn't see her, with her back to him, but he could see her arm bend as her hand covered her chest to stop her heart from beating so erratically. "This says Santa Monica, California." She turned to him, her face priceless with the perfect look of shock.

"Hmm, it does?" He sat up, though his cover was blown and he smirked. She ran into his arms, giggling like a school child and holding back tears. She always dreamed of going to the beaches in California; considering herself a 'beach girl' though she only saw a real beach three times.

"Oh Will, I love you so much." She kissed every where she possibly could, hugged his neck tightly, almost suffocating him.

"I love you too." He held her and fell on purpose, bringing them to his bed.

x

"There's still plenty to do when it's raining, Em." Will walked in the master bedroom of his parents vacation home in Santa Monica with a tray of sandwiches and hot tea. In the course of the past two weeks they did almost everything possible in a 50 mile radius. Will's favorite memory was them going to Universal Studios when they were beyond stoned. Emma's was the day they spent at the beach.

"Like what?" She leaned forward and proped herself on her elbows, laying on her stomach. She inspected the meal and his eyes followed the curve of her body, clearing his throat as they got stuck on her ass.

"Like…" He plopped on the bed and wrapped an arm around her and pulled her on him. "We could…" He touched her nose sweetly, loving how her face scrunched. "Get married."

She peered at him with a knowing smirk for a few moments. "We could…" She looked at him longer before getting up. She took the plate of food in her hand and walked out of the room, dancing a little, begging him to follow her.

He smiled at her and waved his hand as to tell her 'You go, I'll be down in a minute.' She had no idea how serious he was about marrying her. His grandmothers wedding ring sat at the bottom of his suitcase under boxers and condoms. He wanted this trip to end with his proposal, but it was so open ended he was getting impatient. He thought about this since the middle of the school year and he concluded it wasn't too soon. They were going to college together, in the same profession, in so much love it physically hurts to be apart. How could those _not_ be indications they were soul mates?

x

"Emma, what's going on?" Will rushed up the stairs and into the master bedroom, where he heard her scream. He saw her on the phone, she was jumping with happiness. "Em?"

"Yes Mom. I love you too." She hung up the phone and ran into Will's arms. He twirled her around and set her down so he could know what was going on. "I got accepted to USC!" She seemed so happy that he screamed with her before her words caught up with his mind.

"What is USC?" He stood still, scared to move as if he would alert himself that this was real.

"University of South California. It's in LA." She spoke with happiness, too overjoyed to notice his emotions and worries.

"What about NYU?" Will asked nervously, already beginning to shake.

"I guess I didn't get in." Emma's mood depleted for a moment as she sat down at the edge of the bed but brightened in an instant. She turned on the tv and searched for something decent to watch.

"You could apply next year." He stood in the same spot he had when he walked in, knowing what this meant and not wanting to accept it. She heard the tone in his voice and knew exactly what it meant and she automatically got frustrated.

"I can't sit around for a year while you go off to college!" She didn't mean to yell but it happened and she threw the remote further across the bed. She finally saw him, still as a rock and knew his mind was exploding inside. Her expression and voice softened. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell."

"What about our plans?" He asked, looking at her though she knew he didn't want a response. He started mumbling and pacing, covering his face with his trembling hand. "This isn't happening. This can't be happening." She thought he was taking this far too seriously; it was just college. But then she thought of all he went through in his life and felt so bad for thinking he was overreacting.

"Will..." She whinnied softly, extremely concerned for his welfare. "Honey," She knew he was giving himself hell as he paced back and forth, and she only hoped he didn't punch a hole in the wall. He rubbed his palms against his face and started punching his forehead. Emma was scared, but she got up and held his balled fists in her own tiny palms. He opened his eyes that were previously shut tightly. Upon seeing her he collapsed in sobs on her shoulder and she dragged him to the bed. She lay them down on the edge when she couldn't hold his heavy, trembling frame anymore and for a moment was glad he scooted over to what was claimed as 'his' side before realizing he was hitting his face again, and mumbling something under his breath.

"Sweetie, what are you saying?" She held his bicep, trying to flip him over, but he wouldn't budge. He was mumbling something about newscasts and research papers and girls, at which he only started sobbing harder and covering his eyes with his palms. She thought she heard him say something like "I don't want research papers and other girls. I just want her." But she couldn't be sure because he covered his face with his palms where he enveloped himself his pillow.

His words came as a surprise, the first words he said in half an hour. "You love me?" His voice was broken and wet and though she was not facing him when she heard it she knew he was still crying or on the edge of. She turned around, finding him sitting up with his legs crossed. His fingers played with each other, though they were really bad at it. She could tell the most terrible response possible was replaying over and over in his head when he started crying again. It was obvious he taught himself breathing techniques since she last tried to communicate with him and she was proud of him for that.

She sat up quickly and held his hands. "Yes, I do Will." He looked up, pain and disbelief shining in his eyes. "I love you so much," She took his face in hers and stared at him, trying to come up with something to say. Her mind went blank and she kissed him deeply, suprised he let her. He fell to the bed effortlessly and she lay on him, cupping his neck. They kissed slow as if their speed would slow down time enough to go backwards to stop this from happening. He was surprised when he felt a tear fall on his cheek from above. In his messed up mind, she didn't give a shit about him. She was _leaving_ him, she obviously didn't care.

He pulled her shirt over her head and he smiled in the tinniest when she shook her hair to fix it best she could. She showed a tiny smirk at his smile and pulled his shirt off in return, running her nails over his toned torso and she copied with her tongue and lips. "Emma," He spoke in short broken syllables and she surfaced quickly. She took his face in her hands and hovered above him. "I love you. I love you so much, I-" He started crying and attempted to cover his eyes with his palms before she intercepted.

She didn't say anything, just held him and kissed his face all over until his conceled sobs faded to kisses in return. She chuckled as his lips found the skin behind her ear, biting her earlobe softly between his lips. "Okay?" She took a break from adoring his face with kisses, but couldn't resist from placing a few more.

"Okay." He nodded into the pillow under him and pulled her to his lips. For a moment, it felt like she wasn't leaving him. He had to avoid that thought or he would never survive.

The scariest thing for a virgin is giving up their virginity. It's even scarier when the taker just admitted they're leaving you. But he loved her, and however much he would want to deny it, he really wanted to do this with her. If it was his last memory of her, he would be happy.

She removed her shorts and took his pants with them when he writhed on the bed in request. He didn't feel like talking. He hoped he wouldn't be this needy during sex, but he was needy. He was needy for her not to leave him. If he could show her how good their relationship was maybe she would stay with him. However, he still knew making her stay in any way that he could was a torture to her. He knew what she meant by saying she couldn't sit around for a year. She would get depressed that she wasn't good enough for NYU and start cutting again and start resenting Will because he _was_ good enough for NYU. He didn't want that. He wanted her. The short thought crossed his mind that he could withdrawal from school this year but what would they do for an entire year? And they would have to reapply anyway. Maybe this was for the better.

While his mind was running circles Emma removed her bra and kissed his neck and upper chest in every place she could. He zoned out when he was thinking and came to when her hand touched him through his boxers. He moaned and jumped forward but Emma pushed him back with her hand on his chest. Thinking about it now, none of this was new to Will and Emma. The only thing they never did was make love. This thought made him chuckle and Emma look up to see what was funny. He had his eyes closed and his head thrown back on the pillow so she disregarded it as nothing.

He lifted his hips per her request and she slid his boxers down his legs. Holding him in her hands, she kissed his tip and took him into her mouth. He groaned loudly and grabbed a fistfull of her hair, pulling her upwards and having her consume more of him. He knew he might be hurting her, but he also knew she liked it like that and that he didn't care if he hurt her that much. His heart was still beating loudly against his chest, reminder of what she told him.

She surfaced after she swallowed his release and with his hands on her hips she guided her panties down her legs. She slipped a condom on him. He felt emasculated and flipped them over, surprising himself by kissing her chest before diving into her. One thing he would be sure of for his entire life came into perfect view now. Being inside her, in any way possible, was the best feeling ever. He thought maybe that was where he belonged.

X

Emma took his hand as they got settled into their seats on the plane, smiling at him just a little when he looked at her like she was on fire. She kissed his cheek before getting a book out and zoning out their surroundings. He peered out the window, listening to a slow playlist she made for him on those nights when she could not be with him, until he fell asleep. He and Emma slept for three hours before he woke up quickly, panicking, tearing out his earbuds and looking around before he could be sure of where he was. He put his elbows on the bottom of his thighs and rested his head in his hands as he started sobbing.

A flight attendant rushed over, convinced he was schizophrenic. Emma told her otherwise and turned her attention to calming Will, not bothering to pay attention to what the woman was telling her. Eventually Emma blew up on the attendant, telling her Will had a nervous panic disorder and had a bad dream. Some other things like, "Fuck you," "Go to hell," and such were said and it was nonetheless the most interesting flight any of the passengers have ever been on.

Finally reaching Greenwich Village, Will silently drove Emma to her Dad's house as she picked at the fabric of her jeans. She was on verge of tears and she had to suppress sobs at the idea of never seeing him again. She knew that was an extreme, but with as many people as there are in California and New York she thought it was plausible to think she would never see him again. He walked her to her door like a gentleman and stared at his feet as he waited for her to come back to the door after putting her luggage in the living room. He knew he could've left, but that didn't seem like him. She sighed as she approached him and tilted his head up, kissing both of his cheeks, his nose, his forehead and his lips as she rubbed the skin of his ears. Pulling away with a sad smile she said what they believed to be the last words of their relationship.

"I love you."

His breath hitched and just as she was about to walk away he grabbed her forearm. She expected him to pull her into him and say he wasn't going to allow her to walk out of his life but he just leaned forward and kissed her cheek. He lingered on her skin for a moment, breathing out as if it was his last breath. He pulled away slowly and with only a look of desperation and heartbreak, he walked to his car. His mind was running wild with all the possibilities of things, good and bad, that could happen, and what he thought he wanted to happen. He didn't know what thought to focus on. He was only a confused boy anyway.


End file.
